Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

" Walk One Million Steps In One Month 4Louis. Hello, my name is Harry I am a Mitie employee at the deeside covid-19 testing site, on November 14th 2020 my beautiful daughter Winnie Ivy Buntrock was born without a heartbeat. The Charity 4 Louis gave me and my fiancé precious time with our little angel and memories that we will cherish for the rest of our lives. Here is a story written by my partner Ellie : My pregnancy was healthy, we couldn't wait to tell the gender so we paid for a private scan at 16 weeks and found out our baby was a lil girl which was absolutely insane I was convinced she would be a boy! We were so happy and told our families it was crazy because Winnie is the first grandchild for Harry's mum and dad and the first girl in the family! That's what makes her even more special. We counted down the days from the day we found out I was pregnant because we were so excited to meet her, in August we moved into our apartment and got ready for her, we had a million baby clothes up to 6months and pram and cot next to our bed we even have an extra room for her nursery when she's old enough to have a space for all her toys. Never did we think that would never happen, you are prepared for everything in pregnancy but never to lose your baby. I got to my third trimester and it was amazing I had a giant bump and could feel her kicking all the time, harry could see it from the Outside of my tummy and when I was awake at night winnie would be wriggling around with me and I'd speak to her. The comfort I have is remembering all the times I told her I love her and she would kick back to my voice. Winnie would have a pattern of kicking every morning when I ate cereal because the milk was cold. It was always cute because it was like she was saying "mummy that's cold" and she could make the biggest kicks ever.

On November 12th I was 17 days away from my due date, just over two weeks. I was having my cereal waiting for winnies kick but she didn't move, I didn't panic straight away I didn't want to think that could happen. In the back of my mind that was my first though of course. I started to shine a light through my tummy this always got her turning, but there was no movement still. I shook my belly around but she still didn't move, I poked her knee through my tummy but again there was no movement. I called the day unit and told them and they said to go in immediately just to check.

I sat in the waiting room excited to hear her lil heartbeat again, it was about an hour until they called me into the room. The nurse was using the Doppler to find her heartbeat after putting the cold gel on me, but it was taking longer than usual to find it. We made jokes about how she was stubborn and hiding from us, I took the Doppler off her to try and find it myself but we couldn't hear anything.

I had to wait for a doctor to come to do an ultrasound so check things over, in my head I didn't want to accept that I knew what was about to happen.

It took forever for him to come and when he did I watched the screen waiting for him to say she was fine, part of me was even thinking maybe they would bring her early and I could take her home!

"I'm sorry there's no heartbeat" I went into hysterics, it was just me and the doctor Harry had to wait in the car in every appointment I had because of corona virus, but I had no one to hold, my hands instinctively wrapped round my bump. I was praying that he was wrong. My mask was wet with tears and snot and they began to contact harry while I just cried and cried I couldn't breathe properly.

When harry was brought in we were taken to another room I was given a pill to put me into labour but had to go home until I felt contractions. Going home with Winnie in my tummy knowing she was no longer alive felt awful. I remember Praying that whatever God took winnie away would take me away with her in my sleep, But I woke up at 4am knowing I was in labour.

We went into hospital and was taken to the same room before I was put on the bed. Within a few hours at 7:23am Winnie was born.

They passed her to me and I didn't see death, I didn't even cry for the first two hours of holding her because all I saw was my sleeping baby. I didn't even believe she was gone looking at her face she was just fast asleep. There was no way a baby could be this perfect and exactly everything I believed she would be, 17days early, full term.

It was about two hours later her body started to change because I had been cuddling her the whole time and my body was warm. We wiped blood from her nose that kept leaking out, and closing her mouth each time it opened, her skin started to turn different colours but she is still my baby and I didn't want to put her down. We got her dressed and put on her nappy she looked like a little angel.

They brought in a cuddle cot, a cooling cot to preserve the body of a still baby provided by 4louis, I had to put her in it so she wouldn't deteriorate so fast. I wanted to pretend she was alive still but it was getting harder to do so. I kept bursting out in tears, I refused to sleep in case I missed seeing her but eventually had a nap. We had our own room and were given a big memory box where we could print her little feet and hands into clay and take some pictures, keep her hair in a little box, have matching teddy bears, and lots more provided by 4louis. We spent the night with her and I kept taking her out to cuddle with her, each time she looked different it was painful to see and even more painful to wipe the blood from her nose and mouth yet it was a blessing to hold her. Leaving her was the hardest thing to do, knowing she was in there and I wouldn't be near her until her funeral. My mum had already been to our flat to move most of her stuff to make it less hard for us to go back home and it is still all safe at her house, but she left her Moses basket and rainbow light out. The few days after I kept seeing rainbows everything like Winnie was sending me messages and we kept talking about her constantly about what she would be doing right now. Everyday I have I think how different it would be if she was here with us."