Meet the brave chaps and chapettes who are going #blondeformind

Sam 'Baes' Hayes

Sam has finally decided that he's more scared of lacrosse than of his mother and has allowed himself to be (lovingly) pressured into going blonde. Sam normally looks like most of our dads, but now instead he'll look like most of our dads going through a midlife crisis. Middle age has treated Sam well and he now only needs a sports car and an affair with his secretary before he can retire comfortably and decide that he just 'really likes jazz'.

Yvette ‘Threwdog’ Pinder

Yvette recently went for The Chop and is now willing to bleach what little is left of her once long hair for charity. What a brave soul. As the queen of throwing pints over presidents, Yvette is well-practiced in the art of covering other people’s hair in liquid and may prove to be a useful asset to our mass dyeing session. It can be guaranteed that no other member of our dyeing squad will have quite the same propensity for mass aqueous coverage.

Bart 'Homewrecker' Kitson

Bart Kitson is already moderately successful with the ladies, but hopes that his latest hairstyle will take him to the next level. Much-maligned in lacrosse for his various fungal issues, Bart’s bad-boy army persona masks a surprisingly sweet personality and, at selected times (primarily tour), strong chat. The original co-founder of Fair Turs Inc. will, however, have a lot of work to do if he is to live down this blonde streak. Could this appearance change be his chance to outwit the Roxy bouncers and taste once again the sweet music of Eurythmics and Blink-182? We hope so.

James 'The Dude' Colvin

UCLU Lacrosse were surprised when Colvin threw his helmet into the ring for this dyeathon. Just like Samson, his strength lies in his hair but nowhere in the Book of Judges does it say that he can’t dye it blonde.

Jack ‘Alektorophobia’ Chaloner

Jack’s hair is currently the same colour as his beloved Wasabi Chicken Katsu, which makes spotting flecks of sauce in his tresses somewhat of a challenge. He hopes that by bleaching his hair he may once again be able to see exactly where he has spilt curried chicken on himself. Still searching for The One to eat pancakes with, Jacko is the most likely to gobble up donations for this worthy cause.

Ed ‘Tiny’ McLaughlin

This will be Ed’s third attempt at going blonde this year. Despite the mixed reception of the first two experimentations, he believes that three really is the magic number. Ed’s aspirations in life are simple: he wishes to reach 140kg and one day be able to bench as much as his girlfriend.

Erik ‘Just Erik’ Spiro

Spiro (yes, like the dragon), was a reluctant recruit to our ranks. Erik is an old romantic and his wistful childhood dream was always to work in corporate finance. This summer, he will be pursuing his aspiration but not before we ruin his interview chances by sending him into Morgan Stanley looking like Eminem.

Caleb ‘K Cider’ Burke

Caleb is dyeing his hair to meet girls. No, really.

Ollie ‘Fattinson’ Pattinson

After losing a crucial game of rock, paper, scissors earlier in the year, Ollie was left with roughly 40% of his hair forcibly dyed blonde. The fairer lifestyle has grown on him despite protestations from nearly everyone he knows and he looks forward to matching the remaining 60% of his barnet to the rest of his hair.

George ‘Smol’ Pattinson

All of his life, George has been in his brother’s shadow, and not just because he’s the shorter one. Only when the littlest Gattinson stumbled, or rather, was pushed into the opportunity to dye his hair blonde for charity did he realise that his time had come: he can now finally be blonde like his brother.

Nick ‘Just Howlett’ Howlett

Once upon a time, Nick had his first beer. His immediate loss of inhibitions and a heavy dose of “banter” led to a rather obnoxious blonde patch on the back of his misshapen head. Rather than doing the logical thing and return his locks to their original colour, Nick has decided to steer into the skid and take the plunge into being fully blonde. The introduction of so many new Howletts to lacrosse this year has led to a crises of confidence for the original; by dyeing his hair blonde Nick hopes to reaffirm his status and avoid being called ‘the less fat Howlett’ ever again.

Nick is also glad to be putting his talent of asking people for donations to good use.

George ‘Roid Howlett’ Ferguson

If little Howlett stuck to the ethos of ‘Tren hard, eat Clen, test yourself Anavar give up’ then he may look something like George. It is lacrosse tradition to have a fat George within our ranks and this year, Ferguson has assumed the role. George will, however, only weigh in as the second heaviest of our dysfunctional, blonde Nattytivity scene. He is set to make a big splash, but this time not just in the pool.

Alexei ‘Fat Howlett’ Foster

Despite beginning the year as an untrained fresher, Alexei has now not only learned to count to 30 but also to control his bodily fluids. As the fattest of the Howlett clan, he stands as one of the meatier contenders in our line up.    

Mark ‘YARMS’ Phellas

If Mark learns to count as well as Alexei, he might one day become housetrained. He aggressively maintains that he is somewhat ‘posh’, despite being unable to pronounce his hometown below a volume of 140 decibels.

Quintus ‘I Used to be President’ Carr

If Magikarp were a person, Quintus would be it. The fall from President to Kit Sec was taken in Quintus’ stride, but the transition to blonde may not be so graceful.

Ruairidh ‘Rory’ Penman

Ruairidh is one of the few men for whom blonde hair will be a improvement.

Jamie ‘Chest Day’ Morton

Jamie is only going blonde in the hope that a fresh look might help his bodybuilding career take off. He is pegged as most likely to miss the dyeathon, despite it occurring 6ft from his bedroom door.

James ‘Call Me Father’ Price

Cardinal Price is the father, son and holy ghost of the lacrosse club. On this occasion, Pricey’s appearance to his parishioners takes priority and he will be going for the full baptism of beard and hair, rather than just the anointing of the latter. His virtue and faith know no bounds and Price is expected to take his dyeing on his knees like a good Catholic. Once he is blonde, however, we fear that Pricey may disappear completely as he has been known to keep several layers of Baby in The Shade Factor 60+ on at all times for good measure.

George ‘of the Jungle’ Edison

Owing to the recent loss of his boyband frosted tips, George was all too happy to let his hair be bleached blonde again. Under the pseudonym of charity, George will re-indulge his self-proclaimed ‘edgy sex appeal’. Sadly, George is more likely to resemble the ‘other blonde one’ from NSYNC than he is to look like JT.

Jamie ‘Mr. 1s’ Tew

Aside from living the Camden high life, Jamie is primarily concerned with the fact that ‘big beats are the best; don8 all the time’. By going blonde he is able to satisfy this concern and help a very noble cause at the same time. Bless.

Yusuf 'Dark Horse' Shah

Fresh meat (100% Halal) to the team, Yusuf has decided to offset his diet of copious amounts of fried chicken by going blonde with the hope that it may make him a better schweff. With the promise of many rounds of Diet Coke at Phineas (his beverage of choice), he has already given into peer pressure and decided (only semi-willingly) to dye his dark locks in the name of charity, secretly hoping that it isn't too Haram.

Joe 'Rockstar' Taylor

Joe’s hair-dyeing coincides with his UCL musical debut. We are not sure if this was intentional or not but we admire his pluck. Having previously been involved in the mass fresher-hair-shaving-extravaganza of November 2016, Joe is once again pledging to look like a nob, this time for charity.

Sam 'Pilgrim's Progress' Flatau

It is said that a noble man is one who repeatedly stands up after defeat. In Sam’s case, however, repeatedly failing his RUMS Rowing ‘welcome drinks’ is not something to be proud of. Perhaps a second pilgrimage to Lourdes might cure this case of Fresher-itis.

Will 'Wookie' Wookey

Will, known affectionately to his friends as Wookey, is a male Wookiee warrior, smuggler, and resistance fighter who fought in the Clone Wars, the Galactic Civil War, and the conflict between the First Order and the Resistance. He stands 2.28 meters tall and is covered in a coat of ginger-brown fur, which he has decided to dye blonde because he thinks everyone makes fun of him for being ginger. Will is forever open to new hairstyles and experiences, and enjoys making friends with the opposition attackmen in those precious moments he isn’t lying down on the turf wondering where his man went. On the 22nd February however, he will not let the blonde dye elude him.