This is a very personal story, which only my closest friends know...

 I think sharing my story will not only benefit people that have experienced similar upbringings but will also help me find comfort in learning to speak about my childhood more openly.

Some people may think I’m lucky, or some will think unlucky depending on how you look at my situation. The bottom line is, that I have had a gaping hole in my heart for 27 years.

From birth, I was adopted by my lovely amazing grandparents. I didn’t know they were my grandparents until 14.

My grandparents told me that my biological Dad (their son) had run away when I was young. 

My parents led me to believe that my biological Dad was an amazing person and that one day he would return. They idolised him, which gave me a false perception that a Superman-like figure would appear at the door.

My parents painted my biological Mum in a very bad light - they saw her as the one who influenced my Dad into the life they were leading. From this, I had no interest in seeing her - despite the fact she tried to make contact several times. 

Both my biological Mum and Dad had a troubled life with drugs, in and out of prison.

When I was 17, I came home to find my grandparents/parents in the living room with a distraught and broken look on their face. This was the first time I’d ever seen them like this. The police had been round, to tell them that their son, and my biological Dad, had taken his own life. He had just come out of prison and had been suffering from drug and alcohol abuse, leading to his suicide. I was never going to meet him.

Fast forward 8 years, I then find out that my biological Mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, following a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. She reached out to me during this time but I wasn’t ready to meet her. I held onto all of these feelings of hate, anger and abandonment. She passed away early last year. 

I want to run in memory of my biological parents, to raise awareness of the spiralling effect of mental health problems. The money I raise will go to Mind, which is committed to supporting people who are suffering, similarly to how they did.