Running.  It’s something that I used to do at school because I was made to as part of a PE lesson. I watched Tom fall in love with it 6 years ago when our whole world fell apart following the death of our most precious little boy Oliver, from meningitis aged just seven months. At a time when we struggled to make sense of what had happened to us, and how we were expected to find our ‘new’ normal, he used it to find some much needed headspace, solitude and reflection. I on the other hand could think of nothing worse. Grief it turns out for me manifested in such a way as to drain any physical energy that I once had. Tom ran. I slept and watched TV (I may still have an unhealthy Home and Away addiction!). 

A lot of you will know that Tom’s running started to become a way for us as a family to raise both awareness and funds for Meningitis charities.  It was a win win. Tom became mentally, emotionally and physically stronger and we got to talk about Oliver, meningitis and raise money. This time last year all that changed due to Tom knackering his back! It’s meant that he has had to give up running and become a gym fanatic instead, and we rapidly realised it’s a bit more difficult to ask for money for doing some burpees and some boxing a few days a week...

.....so I have stepped up to fill some rather fast shoes....and it turns out that running  is nearly as addictive as Australian soaps. So much so that about 6 months ago I put myself forward for a charity place for the London Landmarks half marathon, and, now I’ve also discovered the benefits of  putting on a pair of trainers and hitting the road. 

Nothing will bring Oliver back to us. To the outside world we are ‘strong’. To a stranger looking in on our lives we probably look like we have it all. A happy family of 5, a house that feels like a home, stable jobs that allow us to live more than comfortably. But don’t be fooled. We smile, but we want to cry, we talk but we want to be quiet (because no words can adequately explain what’s going on in our minds and hearts), we are so very good at ‘being happy’. But the wrongness of losing a child can never be made right. It can’t be fixed, mended or even cried away. No matter what, Oli is always missing. No matter what, our family is always achingly incomplete.  We do not choose to be strong. We have no choice in this. 

Meningitis is life changing. It stole Oliver’s life-who knows what future he should still be fulfilling. For his older brother and sister it took away their childhood innocence. Only time will tell the longer term impact for them of losing their adored baby brother when they were only 4 years old. For family, forced to watch Tom and I in the darkest of places whilst also grieving their own huge loss, it changed everything. For friends, desperate to help, yet powerless to, faced with their own new perspective on life. 

Friendship isn’t just about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about the friend who comes and stands by your side in bad times. Someone who doesn’t try and save you from grief but who you know will always be waving a torch for you at the end of the deepest and darkest of tunnels. I am fortunate to have some truly remarkable and selfless friends in my life. One of these is Becky. Fortunately for me she enjoys running as well, and when I dropped my news that I had got a place to run in the half marathon she signed herself up in minutes, always there by my side on what she immediately recognised would be an emotional day. Big thanks to you my lovely friend. 

Meningitis is a preventable and treatable disease. Nothing will bring Oliver back to us but we can support Meningitis Now. With your help we can help those who have battled the disease only to be left with life altering disabilities, and we can aid those who have lost loved ones. Most of all we can support research and awareness campaigns and stop other families facing the future we now walk everyday. 

Please help us. 

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