For reasons I doubt I'll ever completely comprehend, I've put myself forward to do the 2013 Great North Run.

I've never ran further than a bus stop, so I've now got 2 months to get myself in a state to run 13 miles and not dissolve into a feeble mess at the finish line. It's absolutely as comical as you're imagining it.

As hilarious as I'm sure you'll all find it imagine me wheezing my way across the Tyne Bridge in September, I'm putting myself through it all for the incredible people at the Children's Heart Unit Fund at the Freeman Hospital in Newcastle. I do cheap knob gags on the internet for a living, they provide almost half of the UK's peadreatic heart transplants. They save lives.

If there's a few quid you can spare, then please do donate it here. ALL donations will be thanked by a suitably pathetic photograph of myself in training. Thank you.