I am raising money for Dorothy House Hospice Care in memory of my dear cousin Benj. 

My family will always be grateful and thankful to the staff @dorothyhousehc for the care and compassion they gave to Benj, and us as a family, in his final 11 days at the hospice, and their continued support, even now.

As a charity, @dorothyhousehc are facing the most challenging of times with a huge loss of income from their shops closed and fundraising events cancelled. They rely on donations, shops and legacies to provide the services they offer as only a small percentage of their income comes from the NHS. They have launched a Step Up campaign to try to raise funds......so I thought I’d Step Up; and although only a small effort from me, every penny counts, so please donate what you can. 

I am running or cycling 61 miles in the month of August. Why 61.... Benj’s date of birth 30+4+1985= 2019 (ironically the year he passed), divide 2019 by Benj’s age of 33 = 61 miles

(Please don’t add your dates of birth now 😜)

Benj’s journey:

An incurable cancer diagnosis at the age of 33. That's what Benj faced. But Benj was 6' 2", he went to the gym every day, he looked after his health and wellbeing, he ate well. How could this be happening?? 

In Feb 2018 Benj went to A&E with severe stomach pains. He was examined and told he had indigestion, the staff in the hospital laughed as they said it. Benj wasn't someone to make a fuss and felt embarrassed that he'd gone there. It was suggested he altered his diet, as a body building high protein diet was the probable cause of his 'indigestion'. He turned vegan overnight to try and help his symptoms. 

Over the coming weeks he felt tired to the point of exhaustion and he had discomfort, he visited his GP and was given antacid tablets to ease his discomfort. They worked for a bit, but he continued to feel tired. He was diagnosed as depressed and put on antidepressants to help his low mood. He returned to see his GP when his symptoms didn't improve and his GP changed his antidepressants and said they'd run a blood test to see if they could find a cause for his exhaustion. It was now July 2018. Early hours of the morning the day after the blood test the local hospital were phoning him to get to the hospital urgently, he was found to be so severely anaemic that he was at risk of heart failure. 

He had blood loss related anaemia and he was given an iron infusion.  A month later, after becoming increasingly unwell and after a second iron transfusion he had a colonoscopy that found he had a 5cm tumour in his transverse colon that was impassable. In September 2018 he underwent a bowel resection and removal of several of his lymph nodes. We were told he had stage 4 advanced colon cancer with metastasis. The cancer had spread as far as his neck. His chances were slim. They identified a BRAF mutation and told him it was unlikely his cancer would be responsive to chemo, he was told without treatment he had a couple of months to live. It was devastating news.

Benj initially declined chemo having been told it was unlikely to help, but a scan 10 weeks after his resection, showed spread to his liver, lungs, left kidney and spine so he agreed to give chemo a try. 

He was offered a strong cocktail of chemo drugs, three drugs that they felt due to his size, he could cope with. But the treatment every two weeks was harsh and he had little respite or better days before the next treatment started. His initial course was eight cycles, then a review to see how responsive the cancer was to the chemo chemo, but in the day he went in for his final cycle his kidneys started to fail. After four days of trying to kick start them with drugs and fluids he was told his kidneys had stopped working and there was no more treatment and he was admitted to the local hospice for end of life care. It was now April 2019. He died on April 15th 2019.

Benj isn't with us to share a message, but from talks with him during his illness the message to pass to others would be to be insistent when you visit your GP if your symptoms persist. Ask for a blood test, fight your corner. You have one life and there is clearly no room for error. Don't be afraid to express your anger, or frustration or fear of the situation you find yourself in. Don't be embarrassed by your symptoms, and the doctors and nurses are wrong to make you feel that way. They need to hear what you are saying and learn to look at a person more holistically.

Benj wasn't on any social media sites, but after his diagnosis and when he came out of the dark hole that he fell into after being told his destiny he SO wanted to meet another male, of similar age, facing a terminal/incurable diagnosis so that he could chat to him about his inner thoughts and fears. ..someone who would get it, someone who would understand the awful situation he found himself in. 

What was incredible with him was that he apportioned no blame on any of the professionals who misdiagnosed his symptoms, saying that mistakes are made but he hoped people learnt from them.

One incredible guy. X

Please donate what you can to this amazing cause. 

Thank you all 💜