My partner and I have as of Thursday 9 July lost our twins at Week 18 of pregnancy which has left us heartbroken, devastated, deeply sad, confused. How do we learn to cope to have never met our babies, but carry on in life?

We love our twins Alula and Seren Lola  so much and together they are safe, stars 🌟 🌟 in the sky, in our hearts and we miss them dearly. We felt like we were walking on water when we knew we were having twins after 2 years of trying. They were our miracles and made our life the fairytale we dreamed of, pretty much family complete. Everything we did/talked about was for them and our new family life together. Now everything has just stopped, and feels empty and they are gone. So quickly our lives have changed.

We wanted to post here to share our story and to see if anyone has any advice re: what we went through and also the road forward. When you wanted ‘those’ twins so much.

Everything seemed normal until Charlotte had some blood spotting early Thursday morning around 9am, she panicked immediately and called the midwife who told her to go to the hospital to be checked. By 10.30 her waters had broken. We had a scan and were told both babies still had heartbeats 💓💓, this almost giving us false hope. The scan showed twin 1 was engaged and low, ready to come out... by 11.45am twin 1 had arrived still. Charlotte already started to lose blood, she continued to have contractions and lose blood until twin 2 arrived still at 4.55pm. The placentas still hadn’t come out, which is why Charlotte continued to lose blood. The team at St George’s Hospital in Tooting acted quickly and got Charlotte to theatre for a blood transfusion and manually remove the placentas. We stayed in hospital for a few days for Charlotte to start physically recovering. Something to note in this, is the amazing team at St George’s that we encountered.

The pregnancy hadn’t been a smooth road, at 12 week scan we had a normal twin 1, but twin 2 had a large NT measurement and also a 1/48 chance of downs. This broke our hearts initially, we decided to do the ‘safe’ test, but whilst waiting for the results we knew whatever the results we were never going to take any action. We were going to love these babies no matter what. However, the results came back as low risk... we also had a 13 week scan and the NT fluid had subsided. The consultant reassured us to go away and try to relax and enjoy the pregnancy. Then we had the 16 weeks scan, more news, twin 2 had ‘soft markers’ for downs still, he/she had choroid plexus cysts on the brain. But here again we were told, it’s a risk but tends to correct itself by 20 week scan normally.
Sadly we never made it to the 20 week scan.
We are now waiting for the post mortem, which we are told takes 12 weeks, it just feels like such a long time to wait for answers. The longest 12 weeks of our lives. We will never forget that day or our twins. 👣👣

With joining bereavement groups and Twins Trust we heard about the charity walk on 8th August to raise money for St George’s Hospital to ensure they offer exact and up to date care they can for multiple births and their Twins Trust centre for Research and Clinical Excellence, that will help parents of multiples all around the country.

Xoxo
🌟🌟 👣 👣 🧚🏻‍♀️ 🧚🏻‍♀️ 💓💓 🦋 🦋