Where do I start..... 😬

When I was 14/15 years old my whole life changed!!!! I lost my first true love, my best friend & my father! It was the most hardest thing I have ever ever had to go through in my whole entire life! Trying to live day by day not seeing my dad and just wanting to shut my life away. I didn’t want to go to school I just wanted to drink bottles of vodka a day to make me “feel” better. 

From this day on every year on 20th December & 11th January are the worst days of my life his birthday and his anniversary of his death! The two key days I dread every year! 

As growing older I think it’s effecting me more & more as I only had a short time with him & not enough memories with him that I would of liked to of had. 

A few years ago I lost my best friend Jason! Seeing his smile and still now I miss him so much! We had some great times in the village and could always speak to him about my problems. He was a star in my life everything a friend could ever wish for. Again 11th November & 11th January two more dates I dread them coming around each year. 

I have noticed my personality has changed so much I’m not this happy bubbly girl I use to be! I am so down and depressed and faced lots of mental health problems with mixing myself with the wrong people thinking they were my friends but actually they used & abused me! I got into taking drugs with them (something they would of hated) I was taken for a mug by these people! But I thought it was okay at the time I thought they were my friends. Friends that I thought would stick by me and look after me and make me feel wanted in life! But that wasn’t true they made me depressed enough more and wanted to take my own! I didn’t no what to do it was all out of my hands!! 

I overdosed on cocaine & my anti depressants and if it wasn’t for my sister & my mom telling me to ring 111 straight away and them sending me an ambulance straight away I probably wouldn’t be here right now. I was in hospital for 2 nights on heart monitors and drips! From that moment I spent in hospital has made me realize who actually matters in my life! With the support off everyone that had messaged me and still messaging me right now helping me day by day fight through my problems and starting my help yes on the 11th January but it’s something I need to turn them dates around and make them happy days not sad ones ! 

So this year this is what I am doing to get me back on track and fight my mental health problems! I’m not doing this to make anyone feel sorry for me because this is life! But I think mental health problems are not always taken seriously!!!! And I think In our country at the moment with this covid 19 I think we all need abit more help and support ! Because I don’t want anyone else to feel or go through what I have gone through! And I am here to help & support anyone going through this ! 

I could go on & on but I don’t think this box is quite big enough.... 

So my challenge is that I will be doing is 25km walk/jog in cotwolds and would really really appreciate if you could support me getting my goal!!!! And get more support & help people need with there mental health problems. 

Thank you & love all the people that have been here for me ! 

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.