On Wednesday 12th September I got married to my best friend after only a few days planning. Why such short notice? My husband, Dan, had a rare type of cancer (pleomorphic sarcomatoid carcinoma). Watching him fight everyday was both agonising and admirable. He made me both proud and sad in the same breath, seeing him try and battle his own body eating him from the inside out in the most inhumane way possible, yet still being able to laugh was remarkable.
We all experience grief in our lives because death is part of living. But never in a million years have I wanted to hold onto someone so tightly that they can’t slip through my fingers (at this point Dan would probably have started singing ABBA).
I hope more than anything, wherever he is now, that he knows how loved and cherished he was and still is to so many people. Every hospital visit that turned into a hospital stay, every late night sitting on the bathroom floor together whilst he was being sick and all the frustrated tears that came with it, I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else in the world other than right next to him.
Calling him my husband is the most incredible thing because when I looked at him I didn’t see the weight loss, the tumours or the cancer. I saw my best friend who was the craziest, silliest, bravest and most intelligent man I have ever met.
Despite the cancer having made up most of his body weight, it didn’t make up him. He might not be able to dance like a boss anymore, although he did of course still try at our wedding reception, he continues to inspire so many people around the world.
The Youth Cancer Trust was an important charity to Dan, and even towards the very end he was trying to come up with fundraising ideas to help them. He created hoodies with his ‘don’t give in, don’t give up’ slogan on them, and had a continued communication with the team there. They have also been an incredible support to me in the days after he passed away so I wanted to not only continue Dans support of them, but give a little bit back myself to show my appreciation.
If you want to know more about the YCT, head over to their website or other social media accounts. They are truly an amazing charity.
Thank you and smile, I dare you ❤️
Instagram: @peeweetoms / @kissedbyafox
YouTube: PeeWeeToms / BeccaToms
So, this amount of money could not have been raised had it not been for some amazing people using their creativity, time, effort and love. For this reason, this section of 'my story' will consist of everyone who has helped to raise some extra money for YCT. (If you have an idea, skill or want to get involved, please do send me a message on Instagram or my E-mail is: email@example.com and we can discuss this further and your name can be added to the list of incredible people also helping out in their own, personal ways.)
Debbie is an extremely talented artist and a good, caring friend. Her ability to capture not only a likeness, but an emotion in her paintings and sketches is astonishing. She has regularly painted pictures of Dan and I, and never fails to bring a tear to my eye. Debbie is taking commissions, and extremely generously just asking for a donation to the YCT as payment for the paintings she does.
Deb, you're amazing. Words can't describe how incredible you are, and all you are doing to help keep Dan's legacy alive. Thank you.