I am 1 in 80, and this is my story.

On Friday 17th December we were shocked and excited to see a positive pregnancy test. I’d had a period the week before and couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. Three tests later it was starting to sink in; it was actually happening.

The excitement was short lived when less than 36 hours later I experienced brown spotting. After a panicked call to 111 in the early hours of Sunday morning, I was booked in for an early scan at the EPU (early pregnancy unit) the next day. 

On Monday I walked into the nurses room alone (yay Covid). The scan showed nothing. The nurse told me there were three possible scenarios:

I’d got my dates wrong and it was just too early.

I was having a miscarriage

I had an ectopic pregnancy.

Bloods were taken and I was told I’d get a phone call later that afternoon with the results and the next steps. I started to feel like I’d imagined the positive tests, and time had never gone so slowly.

After an anxious wait the clinic phoned with my results. They were good but the only thing we could do was wait and have more bloods taken 48 hours after the first set. It was a relief, but also the start of another anxious 48 hour wait.

Fast forward to the 22nd December and we both breathed a huge sigh of relief, my blood results had more than doubled, which is exactly what should happen in a healthy pregnancy. We needed to return on the 27th for a scan, but we could get through Christmas knowing things were looking positive.

Over the next five days I was experiencing increased nausea and tiredness; signs I took to mean things were ok. I went through hosting Christmas imagining an extra small person in the room the following year.

On the 27th December we sat in the car outside the hospital and took a deep breath. Chances were that everything was ok, but we also knew that it might not be.

This time I asked if Myles could come into the room with me- I didn’t want to face this outcome alone. After a period of silence the nurse said she couldn’t see anything. We knew that my blood levels were high enough for baby to show on the scan so this wasn’t good.

Several minutes of prodding and poking later and the nurse confirmed that I was experiencing an ectopic. We had a healthy baby growing, but somewhere it couldn’t survive. 

We were told I would need to have more bloods taken, but it was likely that I’d need surgery.

We sat in a side room with a box of tissues and a leaflet about PUL (pregnancy of Unknown Location), then it was back onto an empty ward. As my pregnancy was live and growing, emergency surgery was the best way to treat it.

 As it was a bank holiday I was lucky that there were no routine operations, and after a consultation with the doctor, I had a short wait for surgery. I’m grateful that Myles was allowed to stay with me until I went down for surgery, and nipped to the shop for magazines for when I came back.

Less than four hours after we arrived at the hospital I was coming round from general anaesthetic. They had removed our baby and my left Fallopian tube.

I was taken back up to an empty ward to recover, Myles had called the ward and was allowed to drop off a bag with comfy clothes (and my phone), and then had to leave until I was discharged. Thankfully I didn’t have to stay overnight and was released that evening, with a codeine prescription.

The recovery was hard, mentally and physically, the turn of the new year just a few days later felt heartbreaking.

I had to deal with the loss of our baby, that was still growing, major surgery and part of my body, and the knowledge that the continued pregnancy could have killed me.

Everyone knows what a miscarriage is, ectopic pregnancies are much less understood.

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website was invaluable for my many questions in the hours, days and weeks after the procedure; how long should I leave the dressings on for, is the pain normal, should I be feeling like this, when can I start exercising again… the list was endless, and just knowing I wasn’t alone. 

The EPT are the only charity that focuses on ectopic pregnancy to provide such extensive general information and peer support for anyone that has experienced the condition. There is a crucial need for The EPT. When someone has a suspected ectopic pregnancy or is diagnosed with the condition, they and their partners have many questions and worries. We are here to provide those affected with somewhere to go, providing information and support. People gain comfort from being among others who had had a similar experience and many healthcare professionals signpost families to our services so that we can be there in the days, weeks, and even months ahead.