Beyond Dockers
Beyond's Beyond Dockers Christmas Special Kickstarter
Fundraising for SpecialEffect
Story
Beyond:Dockers is a mockumentary podcast, based in the wider universe of Elite Dangerous and featuring some familiar characters.
It documents the daily burdens of various commanders trying to get through an honest day’s work, from the lowly sewage processors to famous wildlife documentary makers.
“I was a little sick in my mouth” -- Jasmina Halsey
“MUG!” -- David Brubin
“I just had the most baffling wank ever” -- Lord Shouty
The show was a huge success with literally dozens of listeners tuning in for the three episodes and the live performances at Lavecon but sadly the network cancelled the show and no new episodes have been made in 3307.
The reward tiers are no longer available but this is what you could have had!
Tier | Amount | Reward |
1 | £5.00 | Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for no additional cost! |
2 | £10.00 | Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for a small additional cost! |
3 | £20.00 | Have your name read out by the Narrator at the end of the show with the credits. |
4 | £30.00 | Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for a substantial additional cost! |
5 | £40.00 | A lifetime supply of Gnosis Avian Cheese* *While stocks last (10 available). Only one block per lifetime, believe me that is enough. No refunds. First come first serve. After ten blocks are allocated reward will be downgraded to tier 3 |
6 | £50.00 | A sketch featuring you written and performed by members of the cast of dockers. * To be clear when we say members we don’t mean penises. The segment will be up to 5 minutes long. |
7 | £200.00 | A character of our choice will perform a sex act on you during the show* *This will be a dramatisation not an actual act you sicko |
8 | £500.00 | A character of our choice will perform an enjoyable sex act on you during the show* *This will be a dramatisation not an actual act you sicko. Enjoyment is not guaranteed. |
9 | £10,000.00 | The episode will be set in the Star Citizen Universe |
10 | £11,000,000 | Are you a pharma-bro? We will record a 40 minute episode exclusively for you. Nobody else will be able to listen to it unless you let them. |
If we meet our target we will record the christmas special and release it on all media in time for Christmas Dinner. Your nana will laugh her teeth out or cut you out of her will.
We can’t tell you what will be in it because we haven’t decided yet and you need to show us the money. But we promise it will be full of laughs* mugs and filth.
Just give us the fucking money and we will make it already.
*The show will feature laughter but it may be the canned variety and not necessarily yours.
The small print: This is not actually a kickstarter all money raised will go to charity.