Once I was able to gain the professional support I desperately needed I finally gained strength and was able to begin my healing following sexual abuse. 

You think by going to the Police this kind of support is automatically available, instantly, I would have done. What many do not realise is the Police have no resources to provide specialist support and across the country survivors are referred to local charities for councelling and advocacy services. 

These charities do an amazing job, however with little government funding they rely heavily on donations and fundraising. 

RSVP is a service for survivors in Birmingham and Solihull, however with such high demand I was put on the waiting list and 12 months later finally got my first councelling session. Yes, 12 months later!

The first session; I felt I didn't belong there, I had become so numb and disconnected to the emotions regarding the abuse that took place. You never think it's going to happen to you, something like that. 

I hadn't given much thought to rape before. So the idea it could happen to me...that I could be raped, it seemed wrong. 

The irony of feeling like I didn't belong at that first session is obvious now...I hadn't belonged anywhere since it happened, this was one of the ways I had coped. I had developed a way of being somewhere and yet not being there. 

Coping by being disconnected, I now realise was my brains way of instinctively protecting myself however what is good for short term survival isn't necessarily good for long term health. 

There are many factors that stop people from wanting to talk about the abuse, some being shame and guilt but one of the jobs of RSVP support is to help you reconnect your brain, make sense of what happened to you and assign it to the past. 

I have been lucky, I have a supportive family and friends but at times with no specialist support I would worry my experience could overwhelm others and I would then feel guilt for that too and so try to bottle up how I was feeling. I found it was possible to feel alone even if you have support. If I could see their pain or discomfort about what had happened to me it made me feel worse. 

With help from RSVP came the hope which is where I am today. I have found a way of coping but being real and authentic. A way of managing my pain, looking at the past and learning to live with it. 

The opportunity to run the London marathon feels to me like it was meant to be. My first marathon...London marathon and is a chance for me to do something I love in a positive way whilst sticking two fingers up to that part of my past, head held high, a smile on my face and showing I have the courage and strength. 

I look forward to my future and bringing along my family, friends but most importantly my two amazing children for the ride! There is no doubt in my mind that if it wasn't for my children and the people that love me I'd have not got through some of the really hard times. 

Raising awareness of the support RSVP can provide is crucial to me as well as fundraising. As a registered charity they rely on support and donations. As a local charity you never know who you may come across in your day to day life that want that safe place to talk and do not know where to turn. 

Every bit of fundraising is going to help bring those waiting lists down and continue to ensure RSVP is a service available to anybody who needs it. 

I really appreciate you taking the time to visit my justgiving page and I am really thankful for any donation you are able to make. 

All your wishes of good luck will also be greatly appreciated...I think I may need them! 😁

www.rsvporg.co.uk