Short first day (18 miles) completed! Only 856 to go!

 Journey down seemed to take a worryingly long time, through some heavy showers, but infinite knot tying on the roof rack seemed to do the trick, as all the bikes were still there when we arrived.

Set off in sunshine after obligatory photos at Land's End and, with a decent tail wind, the 18 miles seemed to fly past.

All fed and watered now, so just time to ponder the 85 miles and 5000 feet of climbing we will be faced with tomorrow...

Day 2...  Friday 25th

Left Hale in a bout of enthusiasm  after Thursdays evenings easy 20 miles - just 85 today to get to Okehampton - how hard can that be...

Well, the reality is its 104 miles with well over 5000ft of climbing that gets steadily worse as the day goes on. At 80 miles we suffered sense of humor failures emotional outbursts and possibly the onset of torrets!

The final killer is the 500ft of near vertical climb up to the youth hostel!! And its nugatory - tomorrow we have to cycle back down same to join our route north.

Saturday 25th Day 3

Youth hostel very accommodating - most people there we're cycling the same trip. So we swapped stories of heroics etc...

Unfortunately we were sharing a room with the all England 1971 unrivaled snoring champion who was practicing for the 2012 olympics - so not a full nights sleep.

YHA breakfast and on the road for 09:00. Okehampton - Crediton - Tiverton - Taunton, across some farm land!! And onto the A38  - up to Clifton, over the bridge and down into Thornbury. 110 miles in total. A slow run and tonight we are pretty Tired.

Comparison between running cost of the car and fueling us and the bike with flapjack, Lucozade falls in favor of the car if you can believe that.

Looking forward to 120 miles tomorrow to Shrewsbury over mostly flat terrain - at last the hills are over....

 

Day 4.....  Sunday 27

Thornbury to Shrewsbury today. Good nights sleep in Thornbury followed by two helping of Mrs Miggins full english breakfast followed by a bowl of cereal or two.

Paul and Thomas Barlow  joined us for this stint and very welcome they were. So high with the enthusiasm of fresh blood, breakfast and copious sugar based energy drinks we all pumped it out to Tewkesbury in a little over 2 hours - excellent work Thomas.

Lunch on the playing fields with a small contingent of supporters from Bredon and off en route to Shrewsbury.

Thomas completed an excellent 50 miles and Paul veered off to Tenbury for a century loop. We grind on towards our destination.

Temperature now in excess of 30 deg and things are starting to get bad. Sat nav has gone mad endlessly re-calculating the route until the battery goes flat. We switch to Dave-Nav (ex local to this area) Dave-Nav has the bonus of a group success of we get to out destination or a single point of blame if we don't - excellent.

Just before Bridgnorth and its getting tougher - hills are getting steeper and its getting hotter still. The slick gear changes we started the day with have changed to hopeless crunching up and down endless cogs to get a comfortable ratio.

We passed a bikers meeting in Bridgnorth, the induction raw and throaty exhaust note of the 1000cc straight 4 bikes seems to make a most sensible mode of transport compared to our 750watt man powered machines.

Soldiered on to Much Wenlock stopped of for icecream, water, banana and a 2Lb fruit cake that Dave tried to eat solo.

Feeling a tad better, getting cooler and we grind on to Shawbury - Very nice B+B, pub for dinner and straight to bed.

 

Day 5...  

Monday 28th

Again, most excellent Pub Grub yesterday in the Fox and Hounds in Shawbury. The Land Lady is looking to do the same route although over two weeks. We gave our best advice gathered over what seems a lifetime of cycling. Reality check - 3 days. Also most kindly She also adds to our sponsor pot  (as did the lady from Redhill Farm b+b in Thornbury - another excellent and recommended accommodation)

Today, looking to be really hot - that's bad after yesterdays epic. We are all tired and a tad dehydrated - and somebody during the night has clearly wedged a screw driver in between Steve's  kneecap and what ever is underneath! Dave-Nav had this effect yesterday, so it must have been him. Plan to take it steady today - reality is there is probably no other option. Late late arrival tonight.

Route is Shawbury to Kendal. This is where we are certain to  defy the Mercator map projection - it has to be more that 120 miles.  Shawbury is just north of Tewkesbury and Kendal is bordering on Scotland in Steve's geography - apparently not a strong  O-level subject at school. On a positive note we get to turn to page 2 of our 2-page paper map - half way.

Nevertheless 120 miles it is and 3700 ft of assent according to Sat-Nav. (Dave-Nav is now well outside programmed comfort zone)

After a hearty breakfast, hopeful the nice scenery will help pass the day, and our legs and knees will stand the test, we set out.....

Route is Shawbury - Whitchurch - Warrington - Wigan - Preston - Lancaster - Kendal.

Started off with weary stiff legs and a tad uncomfortable after the hearty breakfast. As we join the main road to Whitchurch, I can't  help thinking of the words to the Alarm ballad from the youth of somebody much older than me; "As the road opens up in front of my eyes, the only limitation is in my mind" we started work on a list of numerous other limitations that could hinder progress!

It takes the first 10 miles of copious free time to calculate that there are approx a third of a million pedal rotations between lands end and John O Groats. Thought it would be more.

Steve's back tyre is a bit flat in Warrington. Not an actual flat, just low. For fear of being mugged we pump it up and head on our way.

Really slow progress due to heavy traffic and tired legs. 3:30 comes and only 60 miles in the bag. We stop in a garden centre for tea and cake and worry about what to do. At this rate of progress we won't be in Kendal until well after 21:00. Groan - really down now.

Unknown to us the road does indeed open up in front of our eyes - we start averaging 20 mph over many hours.

Arrive 5 miles short of Kendal by 18:30, and the puncture in Steve's back tyre comes to fruition with a full on flat. Then it starts to rain...

New tube and we are back on track. Arrive YHA at 19:30, beer and dinner in town. Phew!

Day 6...   Tuesday 29th

Another epic journey. Kendal to West Linton (just shy of Edinburgh) 124 miles and 5000ft of climbing.

Clothes left in the YHA drying room overnight ended up as wet as they went in - no option but to don the wet clothes and hope for a speedy dry en route.

Set out of Kendal with wet clothes and straight into a 10 mile long 1400 ft climb to Shap peak. Bad time of day to be pushing this hard made worse by the wet kit. Scenery is fantastic. The Peak done and dusted and the clothes dry, we start the long descent into Shap village. Overall very slow progress and lots of energy expired to do no more that 20 miles. 105 left to do. Route takes us all the way past the lake district, to Penrith, Carlisle, Gretna, Lockerbie, Moffat, up over A701 pass and down into West Linton.

First sight of Scotland  as we enter Gretna. We're expecting to see the entire village full with 16 year olds who have eloped and are trying to get married. Reality is the marriage office is closed and the center has been converted into a tourist attraction selling possibly the most expensive sandwiches we have ever seen £6.30 to two triangles!

leaving Gretna, we were spurred on by TRL's corporate donation.

Then incessant rolling road running parallel to the M6, no wind to speak of, irritatingly bumpy causing numb hands every 20 mins or so.

Arrived at Moffat at 18:00, still with 35 miles to go and another 1400 ft climb. Dave and I collapse into a garage and sit on some bales of peat whilst we decide what to do. Neil arrives a few mins later, almost tumbles off his bike with exhaustion before rushing into the shop to buy everything they have on sale. Hard to see how we can complete the day on plan.

Neil is convinced we should go for it. So we force down a cornetto (180 calories), snickers (350 calories), jelly babies (720 calories) and a pint of coke (250 calories) and 2 Nurofen for Steve. No diet for a slimmer, but we feel better and set off.

8 mile climb out of Moffat to 1400ft and then a long 10 mile descent into head wind!

Finally arrived at 20:55 after 12 hours on the road. Pop into the pub for last orders for dinner at 21:00 and all is good again.

Stoked up and ready for tomorrows run up to Pitlochry.

 

Day 7...  Wednesday 30th

Short day today, just 87 miles (it's all relative you understand) West Linton to Pitlochry.

Part company with the Help for Heroes cyclists we met an age ago in Okehampton - we are a tad jealous as they are fully supported by camper vans etc. They have no luggage and the lightest carbon fiber cycles money can buy - cripes, our luggage alone weighs more than their bikes.

They simply cycle for two hours, stop in the pits for a wash and scrub up, drink the finest mineral water and a fresh dollop of hair gel and they are on their way. In contrast we are loaded up and starting, frankly, to look like hobos. Still we hold our own and stay in the lead. Also we have all the people we started with. The help for heros  seem to have lost some along the way.

Grind on up to Edinburgh uplifted with the thought that tonight the long suffering Mrs Clover will arrive with fresh clothes and best of all - non cycling shoes.

Pushing and cutting through traffic like mounted cavaliers in Edinburgh city centre we manage to lose Neil in the chaos. Later we discover he has taken a non-cycle and clearly faster route to the Forth bridge. We debate if it was  motor-way, Neil assures us it was normal road, but we have our doubts...

Over the Forth bridge and up to a major roundabout where Steve finds himself wandering about like a wayward breeze stuck in his pedal clips before finally falling off and rolling in the road hoping not to get run over. Dave laughs, points out nobody saw and helpfully cycles off!

The route takes us then North through Kinross and up to Perth. In Perth we try a spot of tractor chasing for the slip stream. Dave pushes on in the slip, Steve presses the pedals but nothing happens - just nothing.

Arrive in Perth where we find a rather pleasant park bench where hobos sit outside Tesco for a rest before going inside same for tea and cake - us hobos are allowed in here.

Judy catches up with us 20 miles into the A9, we drop our luggage and the bikes are totally transformed - luckily that's compensated for by a 20mph head-wind to hinder our progress instead!

Dave has some new names for the various combinations of hills and wind we have encountered so far. A down hill stint with a head wind is called uphill downhill an uphill with a head wind is called a double uphill. A uphill with a tail wind would be called a downhill uphill - but we have never had one of those.

We cruise (stagger) into Pitlochry by 17:00. Pitlochry is famous for Bells Whisky, however. We notice it's located next door to the sewage centre - non ideal I would have thought. Note to self: make sure Martin doesn't buy Bells Whisky - we only ever drink his Whisky, normally in large quantities.

Day 8... Thursday 30th,

Today is cooler, we are also cooler, so with tyres freshly pumped to 130 psi, luggage firmly wedged in the boot of the car we set on our way.

The route is Pitlochry to Dingwall, north of Inverness - 108 miles, should be a piece of cake.

After some messing about we join the A9 north, Neil takes the off-road North road scenic route which Dave and Steve chuckle over - until we experience the motorway-ness of the A9 - two way road with nobody going slower than Mach 0.12 Even the juggernauts are cruising at Mach 0.1 just a few feet away from us - it's hell.

Biggest and longest climb ever in the world up to the descent into Dalwhinnie. This is where we discover a new wind type to add to Dave's collection.

New wind type occurs when an uphill downhill combines with a gorge cutting to form a full fledged high efficiency venturi. Feels a bit like sitting in a huge carburettor. This is called an enhanced uphill  downhill. If the effect ever happened with a double down hill we would probably exceed Mach 1.

As we approach Dalwhinnie it starts to rain - heavily. Despite carrying our waterproof tops for over 600 miles we don't for some reason see the need to put them on. We get pretty wet.

We meet up with Neil and have tea and pastie at Dalwhinnie and time to dry out.

Rejoin the A9 into roadworks contra flow where these is no scope for  the raging traffic to overtake. So 10 miles of traffic travelling at 15MPH - excellent, cyclists rule.

Meet up again in Aviemore for more tea and "rich fruit cake" that is made from dried fruit held together with PVA. After that we all take the scenic north road.

The weather changes and its endless showers followed by sunny spells, must have donned our coats more than a dozen times, wind changes for a full northern wind up to 20 MPH, we really struggle to make progress - really struggle.

Aviemore to Inverness is only 40 miles and it takes us nearly 5 hours. Sense of humour failures all round as we near our accommodation for the evening.

Totally whacked so we drive the 1/2 mile to the pub for a change - pondering if we need to cover the car seat in chamois cream.

Tomorrow is another day - and importantly the last day. We are planning what to do when we return. Steve is planning to go in the garage and hit his hand with a hammer for light relief. Neil is going to throw his bike away, Dave is planning to sleep.

Day 9... Friday 1st

Last day today - last evening we decided this is a totally stupid thing to do. Looking at the map two things become apparent, firstly we  have covered some major distance. Secondly, the fact we have cycled it in just 8 days, the UK is a pretty small country.

Route is Dingwall to John O Groats. We start early and press on up to Tain, 25 mile ride to the first stop. Making good time and feel good too. Press on to Helmsdale for lunch. As with Bridgnorth, we see a gang of motor cyclists - how sensible to travel under the power of fossil fuel. Starting to see a few other cyclists now, both in our direction and coming the other way - people starting and people like us, finishing. The expressions are very different.

Then onto Lybster where we meet up with some real athletes - they are like the Heros, fully supported, but impressively doing it in just 6 days - wow.  Never the less, they are also impressed with our 8 days, loaded up. Not bad for desk jockey type people.

Grind on to Wick - then just 20 miles to John O Groats - we are all totaly fed up and want this over. Every part that can ache does, even some parts that shouldn't also ache alot.

We learn two things about Wick. If you are under 25 it's illegal to drive with a silencer fitted to your car, and you must drive up and down the high street waving to the peope you saw on the last lap - 1 min ago - it's a small place. Also, there are abundant parking spaces - presumably this is because everybody is out driving?

Arrive at John O Groats -  looks strangely similar to Lands End - white buildings, amusements, sea and a gift shop.

It's such a relief it is all over. To celebrate we hold some champagne for the pictures, but actually have a cup of tea!

Mark Beaumont makes a statement in his book that if you can do 100 miles a day for a week, you can do it indefinitely. He is noted for cycling round the world - when we were at school it was 24,000 miles round the world. Even with some shrinkage it's still gotta be pretty big. We have cycled almost 1000 miles. Doing that another 24 time is NOT an option - so not sure we agree with his sentiment.

This has been an epic journey and we can't be sure what has keep us going, but never the less we have basically kept to our schedule. We have been to countless places and met both interesting and not so interesting people.


Its certainly not physical strength that's made this possible, just determination, blood sweat and tears. Between us we have only had two major sense of humour failures - once in Okehampton and once arriving at Dingwall. The rest of the journey has been awash with comedy moments and high spirits.

Have we had pain and hardship - yes. Have we enjoyed it - get back to you on that one. Do we regret starting - no. Would we do it again - no, never.
Have we been lucky - yes. A day or more with seriously strong winds, rain or both would have sunk our schedule.

We are led to believe that with time most people will make a full recovery, and some are lucky enough to learn to walk again.....

Huge thanks from all of us for all your donations!

THE END...