3000 squats in November challenge for Refuge
Diane Scollon is raising money for Refuge
Story
This Is a charity I am supporting as I and my son needed this help 26 years ago, after then having to endure abuse and violent behaviour from my ex-husband (and son's father) for approximately 5 years after my very short marriage dissolved, wherein he had ostracised almost everyone in my life apart from my family, without my knowledge.
I endured a very trying 5 years with unsympathetic police and solicitors.
My night out leading to my birthday in 1993 was the worst, where I endured almost 5 hours of violence and being held captive in my home. I did manage to escape this situation by finding £5 lying around and giving it to him. He wanted a drug fix and this managed to get me the escape I needed. On attending hospital, they were surprised from the injuries I had sustained that I didn't have any broken bones - he had repeatedly kicked me from hip to foot in both legs, and tried to break every bone in my body and cause as much injury as he possibly could. This was still not enough for anyone to want to do anything for me.
I bided my time and I qualified in my Admin NVQ course on Monday 20 June 1994 and had to flee my home 4 days later on Friday 24 June in the clothes I was wearing. I grabbed a few bits of clothes and belongings for my son (who was 5 at the time) and didn't think to get anything for myself due to it being such a rush situation. I lived in a shelter for almost 2 months. I relied for the first few days on handouts and emergencies that I could get from my elderly parents, who also suffered abuse and violence from him. My brothers and sisters had no idea where we were living and were obviously worried about our safety.
I was re-homed and because I had been in a shelter, the police attended my new home every day at first, with the visits getting fewer and fewer. The police were finally sympathetic and I finally felt like I was now believed. I also had the support of amazing neighbours who kept an eye on me.
I finally stood up for myself against him one day after receiving so much counselling and help and support and he gave me one last threat of killing me the next time that he ever caught sight of me. I did say that if I ever saw him again I would presume that is what he had come to do and the police would have him. I walked away without turning back, whereas previously I would have been weak, pathetic and begging him to leave me alone. Bullies love that and the control they have over you.
I had a subsequent relationship for 6 years before we separated.
My ex husband committed suicide in 2001 at the age of 29 due to his drug addiction and mental health problems. He had previously attempted serious suicide and survived.
I have now been in my second marriage for the past 10 years and been with my husband for 15 years.
I never had any more children, but I also now have two wonderful grandsons aged 7 and 3.5 whom I love dearly.
I have a wonderful life now - I am one of the lucky ones who survived.
I will be completing 3000 squats in November for Refuge. On any given day, Refuge supports 6,500 women and children. Just £10 could provide a woman arriving at a Refuge with the support she needs for her first night. Every £1 makes a difference. Thank you!