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David Scott-Ralphs

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I am going to jail for St Wilfrid's Hospice (Eastbourne) Ltd because as CEO the buck stops with me!

216 %
£2,164.00
raised of £1,000 target
by 52 supporters
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  • Event: Jail & Bail, 29 Mar 2019

St Wilfrid's Hospice (Eastbourne) Ltd

We provide skilled and compassionate care to those with life-limiting illnesses

Charity Registration No. 283686

Story

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

I've done a few challenges in my time for the charities I have led, but going to jail is a new one! On Friday 29th March I will be joining a number of community leaders and well-known figures in taking to the cells at the Redoubt Fortress (a Napoleonic fort, think 'Les Miserables'). I will be quite keen to get out for the weekend, so if you are able to help me post bail between now and 29th March, I would be very grateful. All funds raised will go towards St Wilfrid's vital work. To see my charge sheet, please read below. Thank you!

'One of the nefarious crew to spend time behind bars for Jail and Bail is none other than the Chief Executive of St Wilfrid’s himself - David Scott-Ralphs (aka Dangerous Dave).

DD has been CEO at St Wilfrid’s for two years. Notwithstanding his dastardly deeds which have led to his impending incarceration, he describes it as a privilege to lead St Wilfrid’s in its aim to take its services ‘closer to you’ in all parts of the hospice’s catchment area. 

Although DD is - by most accounts - a respected and well-liked leader by those at the hospice, his steering skills are not all they seem, as on March 29th he will be
locked up for four counts of irresponsible parking.

Over the course of 2018, DD went on what some described as a ‘parking spree,’ where he seemingly challenged himself to park his Mazda (which has since been seized by police) in the most inconvenient and outlandish places within hospice grounds. 

He was seen to park his car in front of an ambulance on four occasions, in the Inpatient Unit itself on two and in the hospice’s rock pool - designed for quiet contemplation - on one occasion. 

Needless to say, the only matter currently under contemplation at the hospice is Dangerous Dave’s questionable parking skills. 

However, his most egregious offence by far was his decision to regularly park across two bays in the hospice car park. One onlooker described it as ‘barbaric.’ 

Anyone who has ever been to the hospice will be aware that its parking spaces are an incredibly precious resource; in 2018 they joined Bornean orangutans, Amur leopards and the tiger on the list of the world’s most endangered species. 

The last time a free parking space was reportedly sighted was in January 2018, although we have been unable to verify this claim. 

And there may be more details to emerge yet, as those conducting the ongoing investigation are urging hospice staff and volunteers to come forward with any new information relating to the case. 

Although Dangerous Dave’s reported offences may border on the unforgivable, you can sponsor his release by giving on this site. Help him to live to park another day.'





Photos

8
  • It's official - we're out! So we live to err another day. Now where was my car?
  • The word is out on the street +6

Supporters

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