Jacob was a keen adventurer. He loved a challenge and was happiest up a tree or on top of a mountain. A group of Jacob’s close Friends and Family will be completing the ‘Howden 20 ‘ on Saturday 5th June. Jacob enjoyed this walk as a young boy so it seems fitting to walk it in his memory especially as he loved the outdoors. We have wanted to get together and walk with Jacob in our hearts before now but couldn’t due to restrictions. 

Jacob was grounded, funny, clever and so very easy going, a joy to have known. We are forever heart broken he’s not living life to the full as he always did, he was fully engaged and had many interests, plans, aspirations and hopes. We mourn the life Jacob should be living. He had such a rich and promising life ahead of him.

We are incredibly proud of all he achieved and how hard he worked to secure his ideal placement as a Software Engineer in London. 

Even with hindsight we can’t see any signs of Jacob struggling, he was flying high with his degree and was positive about his new work placement. We had no concerns about his well being or mental health. 

We think there will be signs if a loved one is struggling, that we will notice and offer support but this isn’t always the case. For some people there are no outward changes in their demeanour or usual routines. Jacob was home 3 days prior to his death and was his usual witty, laid back self, he had a great catch up with us and his mates. We have treasured memories of that final visit home. 

Shortly before Jacob passed he had his hair cut, bought tickets for concerts and enrolled on a night class. On his last day he went to work and appeared fine. One day he was seemingly thriving and the next day gone. 

When we lost Jacob, we were hit by a tsunami of grief, shock and confusion. It seemed so unbelievable, unfathomable and still does. Nothing made sense anymore.

He had proper, true friends and was loved beyond words by his close, loving family. We brought the boys up to know we would be there for them no matter what and also talked openly about how mental health can change and what signs to look for. 

We adore our boys, they were and are still our world, our everything. If this can happen to us as a family it can happen to anyone. 

We do not want this to define us and most importantly Jacob, but we want to do something to raise awareness and funds. If our fundraising helps one young person who is struggling it will be worth it.

While progress has been made in recent years to change the discourse and help people open up about how they feel, there’s still a long way to go in tackling the stigma surrounding mental health. The tragic rise in  young people aged 10-24 years old taken by suicide is a poignant reminder of how far there is to go.

Suicide is the biggest killer of young people in the UK. Every week 125 people in the UK take their own lives. And 75% of all UK suicides are male. 

Thoughts of suicide are common. However as a society we do not talk openly about suicidal feelings and it is very much a ‘ silent ‘ killer.

• Anyone can have them, and they can be a result of a whole host of different emotions or feelings.
• Suicidal thoughts can occur when life seems to be going well. Sometimes in the heat of the moment things can seem hopeless.   
• If you’re struggling or experiencing thoughts of taking your life it is important that you tell someone and get help.
• Keep safe in the moment. Find a safe space, person or distraction. The feelings will pass.

We need to work towards a community where the topic of suicide is no longer taboo and open conversations happen. 

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) have relatable information about mental health including how to talk to your mates if you’re worried about them. 

Please spread the word about Papyrus and CALM. Young Minds website is also a comprehensive resource for young people and parents. 

Just giving will only allow us to raise funds for one charity, however any cash donations will be given to The Compassionate Friends who are a wonderful charity who support bereaved parents.

This has been very hard to write and we are thankful for your donation. 

For Jacob, Forever in our minds, Forever in our hearts 🌻Liz , Kev and Max 🌻

#smashthestigma  It's OK to ask for help, it's OK to talk.

HOPELINE UK - 0800 068 4141

Samaritans - 116 123

Mind - 0300 123 3393

The Calm Zone - 0800 58 58 58

Remember, you can even call the emergency services on 999. 

PAPYRUS is the national Charity for the Prevention of Young Suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer of young people under the age of 35 in the UK. PAPYRUS provides confidential support and advice to young people struggling with thoughts of suicide, and anyone worried about a young person through their helpline, HOPELINEUK. Every £5 raised can help pay for a life-saving contact to HOPELINEUK. Your donations really are lifesaving, thank you.