Yes we are really here again! I cant quite believe it this time, I will try not to bore you all too much but I am simply going to copy and paste the blog post I wrote about why I am running the London Marathon. 

I am running for Young Epilepsy because they make such a difference to the lives of children and young people with epilepsy: http://www.youngepilepsy.org.uk/

I am running because I want Noah to be proud of his Mummy to know that no matter what I never let the epilepsy stop me, that I never give up. More of our story can be found on my blog: fairyfaye1986.weebly.com

Heres the blog post copied and pasted explaining it all:

My next few blogs are going to be slightly different as they
follow my journey of training for the London Marathon 2017…yup you read that
right! So me a first time Mum, who is not at my physical fittest and also
happens to have uncontrolled epilepsy is going to take on the London Marathon;
I must be mad! They will be an honest account of how much(or little!) training
I do, what its like working that around a 1 year old, the challenges of long
distance running and epilepsy and coming back from an injury.

As we saw in 2017 I watched everyone around me making New
Years Resolutions, promises to change and be better, but I turned to my husband
Chris and remember saying I have none, for the first time in a really long time
I feel like myself again and actually this is what I wanted to continue.  For those of you who don’t regularly read my
blog let me tell you a little bit about myself (and for those of you who do
bare with me!) I was diagnosed with epilepsy at the age of 7, it has been part
of my life on and off ever since, I gained control and spent over 18 months
seizure free until I fell pregnant with our little boy. What followed on from
that was a difficult pregnancy and a challenging 21 months since Noahs arrival .
I was hospitalised twice following seizures during pregnancy, one which saw me
fall down a flight of tube station stairs ( http://fairyfaye1986.weebly.com/blog/blog-12-and-then-it-happened
), Noah arrived safely in June 2015 but it didn’t stop there. Pregnancy changed
everything and my epilepsy has been uncontrolled ever since, we have been
through numerous drug changes and dose adjustments and nothing seems to be
doing the trick anymore, then added to that is the side effects of the
medication and the crippling anxiety that came with it.

On the 1^st January I went out for a short
run/walk and I loved it again, so whilst I was feeling myself in I signed up
for Silverstone Half Marathon and the Great South Run again with the intention
of just trying to enjoy running again and doing a little something for me. Noah
was that little bit older and running had helped both the epilepsy and anxiety
in the past, it was time to give it another go. I also had broken my ankle
running just before I fell pregnant and that was still weak so this was a prime
time to start looking after myself a bit and try to strengthen it.

Then one random February afternoon in work (I work in the
London Marathon Store) my boss offered me the opportunity to run the London
Marathon, the only condition being that I have to run it in Reeboks new running
shoe the FloatRide and offer feedback. My heart jumped and my instinct was to
say yes but that old anxiety crept in, and the fears around the epilepsy – I
mean I barely run outside so how was I going to manage this, I asked him if I
could think about it and off I went to call Chris. He as ever was hugely
supportive and told me I could manage this and we could work around Noah, to go
for it, he had the faith in me that I lack in myself. My sister thought I’d
lost the plot when I said I was even considering it after everything but she
reassured me she knew I could do it and would be there to cheer me on, bless
her I know she is just frightened but her unwavering support keeps me
going.  A friend popped by for a coffee
and his words were “remember how gutted you were when you didn’t get a ballot
place, if you think your health is up to this then what is stopping you, I
don’t want you bleating on all year about a missed chance.” 

I nodded and went back to work after my lunch break still
unsure where my boss said to me “Sometimes Faye you just have to say yes!” So I
did ( I’ll decide later whether I want to thank him or strangle him!)  But the anxiety and fear  wouldn’t let go so I although I said yes I
went home thinking I can still change my mind, and told Chris that I would use
Silverstone as my bench mark as to whether I was fit enough. (Having said that
I sit here just under two weeks to Silverstone and I am happy with my training
and excited about it all) But that evening my concerns were:

1. Would I be able to train around Noah, would it
   affect him would he miss out – I guess any parent can identify with this. I
   feel guilty if I go out for a run. Solution: I will try and go when he naps to
   help ease that guilt and make sure he doesn’t miss out.
2. My ankle injury, would it hold up to the
   distance? Solution: proper training, strap it up and time would be the answer
3. You aren’t exactly fit, I weigh a stone more
   than when I broke my ankle and when I last ran a marathon. Solution: Training
   will get me back in shape, and although not as fit I am the weight I was before
   Noah.
4. 12 weeks to go – that’s no where near enough
   time? Solution: I am already in training for Silverstone that is in line with a
   marathon training plan it is doable.
5. Will I have the time to train? Solution: I
   plotted all my runs on the calendar to make sure that they were feasible as a
   family, and they were (I felt much better after this!)
6. I just cant do this. Solution: I have done two
   marathons I CAN do this!
7. Anxiety. I still have no answer for this and it
   creeps in to everything.
8. Epilepsy, its uncontrolled, its dangerous, you
   are being an idiot trying. I have NO answer for this, only time will tell if
   this is going to help me. I have numerous medication increases in the middle of
   the training and who knows what will happen with them, they are known for
   making me tired and my immune system weak!

I swore my closest friends to secrecy about the fact I had
agreed to do this, I didn’t want to look like a fool when I got to Silverstone
and realised there was no way I was doing a marathon, again this was the
anxiety making me believe that it just wouldn’t be possible, Silverstone is and
will always be my bench mark of whether I am fit enough and if the epilepsy
will largely play ball so a lot is riding on this half marathon. I took a practical
step and got in contact with Young Epilepsy and said I was thinking about doing
it, James was as lovely as ever and just said “don’t worry about anything else
it is just great to have you on the team and to see you finish”. So I had my
safety net in place.

As I sit here and write this now I ran Silverstone Half
marathon yesterday. I missed my PB by just four minutes and I am happy with
that because I had a fantastic day. I wasn’t feeling 100% yesterday morning but
thought I can stop if I need to. I caught up with Liz who also runs for Young
Epilepsy and it was good to see a familiar face. I normally find the crowds at
races a comfort but yesterday they overwhelmed me so I kept my head phones in,
volume up and ran/walked my race. I finished and I knew no matter what the
nerves and anxiety said if my Epilepsy would hold up I wanted to do this, so the final decision was made I really am going
to run the London Marathon in 6 weeks time!

As William Shakespeare said in his play Measure for Measure

“Our doubts are our traitors,

And make us lose the good we oft

Might win,

By fearing to attempt”

Wish me luck xxx