So. Here’s a thing.
Back in the dark days of January Chris looked over to my prone, After Eight-filled self and subtly suggested that it might be time for me to, you know, do some exercise. My snorts of derision did little to placate him, yet his continued cajoling had little effect. He started getting desperate.
“I bet you a million pounds you couldn’t run a half marathon.”
“You don’t have a million pounds.” (He couldn’t fool me that easily.)
“OK… If you run the half the marathon, I’ll… wear whatever you want while I run.”
Damn. I was caught by my own inner childish delight of dressing other people up to look really, really stupid.
So, my training began. I got the app, I got the shoes. I ran 5k, I ran 8 and then… gave up. I know! I know. But in my defence, no animal with feet at flat as pancakes and cankles as thick as hams was ever meant for running.
But all, dear readers, was not lost.
Whilst I can now happily admit I am an utterly rubbish runner, I am extremely well practised at sitting on a sofa and using a laptop. And so, here’s Plan B.
Chris will be running the Bristol Half Marathon on the 15 September. In a valiant and dare I say it ingenious way of getting him to keep up his end of the bargain without having to move my own lazy arse, I’m arranging the fundraising. Yes, I know we’ve all dug deep for every Facebook friend on a fun run, but the best bit is yet to come – for we all get to benefit!
Depending on how much money we can raise for Cancer Research, Chris will still be wearing an outfit of my choice.
If we raise £150 he will wear a hideously clashing T-shirt/shorts combo & the highest bidder will have their face emblazoned on his shirt.
If we raise £300 he will be running dressed as an 80s gym bunny, replete with leg warmers, sweat bands and crop top (seriously, he actually owns these now).
If we raise £500 we’ll see a return of The Leopard – see photo, above.
If we raise £1000 Chris will be dusting off his Liono outfit a la Lucy’s birthday, 2010 (yes, he will be a big cat with fluorescent orange hair).
If we raise £1500 or more, we’ll be heading for the seedier side of town in search of fishnets, basques and satin nighties perfect for a 34 year old man.
And, in the vain hope that we might raise £3000 or more – the best idea from your good selves wins!
So come one, come all and dig deep! I promise photos, tweets, posts and much hilarity. You can even come and witness it yourself if you like! See you at the finish line.