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It has been hard for me to share this story as it is still so recent, and I have tried four times to actually type something that makes sense and is not too sad or clinical, full of symptoms and time frames as that's not really what my mam was about. 

She was a very helpful person always doing little things to make life easier for somebody else, even when she was really poorly and had very little energy herself she was looking after my grandma who in her late 90's has episodes of forgetfulness due to age and other medical problems that needed attention. She was always there for myself, my brothers and all our families helping constantly...sometimes helping too much and this would get her in to trouble!

However, she enjoyed company, a glass of wine and sharing a story of her younger days when times where hard. We as a family loved listening to her. She loved to laugh and enjoyed a joke even if she didn't understand the punch line she would still laugh along.

She was extremely active and loved to walk, especially when we as children were younger we walked everywhere and then over the last 7 years I got a chocolate labrador and my mam could be found regulary walking him around the estate and local shops and would be commented on frequently by the neighbours who would witness these lengthy walks.

So it came as a bit of a shock that this time last year I had to request that she be admitted to hospital as after 18 months of watch and wait with no definitive diagnosis she became so poorly that she had no energy to stir her porridge for breakfast, she had no appetite and had lost so much weight over this period of time. She was unsteady on her feet and I could see how frail she had become within a matter of days.

So this time last year we had a definite diagnosis of Angio-Immunoblastic T Cell Lymphoma which is rare and extremley aggressive. She spent her birthday in hospital but wouldnt let me display her birthday cards or tell the nursing staff. She didnt want to make a fuss!

The disease progressed rapidly she soon developed widespread pain in her back and quickly lost the use of legs, and fine finger grip in her hands. She gradually lost all movement and sensation in all limbs.

Mam made a conscious decision not to have chemotherapy which would only make the symptoms more bareable but could have side effects of their own. Instead she asked to be cared for at the local hospice and to spend the remaining time she had with her family.

The disease is aggressive and cruel not just for my mam but also for all her loved ones who visited daily, but were limited in what we could do to help. This mainly revolved around providing mouthcare as she was unable to move any of her limbs at this stage now. The pain towards the end became more and more unbareble despite a 24 hour infusion pump of a cocktail of medication to alleviate pain, nausea,secretions and fear.So we would do our bit to be useful and massage cream into her feet and legs and this seemed to help for a little while. 

We lost our mam on the evening of  Monday July 10th, it had been a drizzly damp day but at the time she had all her family around her. She waited all day for my younger brother and sister-in-law to get to her bedside and twenty minutes later she took her last breath and the sun found a gap in the cloud and shone.

So on Saturday 9th June ( I know this Saturday! Like I said it's taken me a while to write this) it would have been her 75th Birthday so to remember and celebrate her life I have decided to host an afternoon tea in my little back garden. If it rains it will have to be the kitchen!

Please help me raise funds to support research within Haematological Cancers so that we can try to help support the work that that they do in finding novel agents in order to treat and target these cancer types. More needs to be done within research for these rare cancer types as at is heartbreaking to know that there is no hope. There has to be some hope and with your help we could help a little to provide that. 

Thank you

Hazel