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26 June 2016 marks 7 years since my dear dads passing... i can't quite believe it's been that long as it feels like only yesterday. He was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in March 2009, they opened him up immediately with the hope to remove what they could, but unfortunately the cancer had spread so he was closed back up told there was nothing they could do and that he had three months to live. Dad was then spending half the year in South Africa, and we flew back to London with him so he could spend the rest of his time with his family. 



The following months were surreal, a roller coaster of emotions for all of us. Dad stayed with us in my mum's house (an incredible thing for an ex wife to do) where Ben, Adam & I cared for him with the support of a couple of incredible District and Macmillan Cancer Nurses‎. Dad went through ups and downs thinking he was going to fight this disease to finally accepting his fate. It was the hardest time of my life and i honestly don't know how i managed to get through some of those days, all seems a blur when i look back now.

He passed away in June 2009, exactly three months after his diagnosis.

Some of my fondest memories towards the end included helping dad in the bath with Ben and watching him enjoy it so much after spending all day in his bed, the parent/child roles had reversed and it was so sweet, and when he wasn't eating but watching the simple joy of his face when we he fancied his favourite tirumusu desert - it was the simple and small things which could brighten up his day! 

The hardest times were when he was in complete agony and we couldn't help, seeing his body wilt away and seeing his huge belly, the build up of fluid in the abdomen, along with the tumours portruding out of him. His bowels and the bloody Movicol! When he went to the hospice but had to leave after a few days as he wasn't dying fast enough! Madness.

No-one warns you about all of the dramas, medication problems, body changes and emotional stress and turmoil as well as a whole host of other dilemmas you face when it comes with someone who's dying. Fortunately, dad spent his last moments at home where he belonged after being dosed up with two syringe drivers and in and out of consciousness for the last few days. We watched him take his last breath and was happy he could finally find peace after a very painful experience.

His family, friends were amazing and the bonds my brothers and I have now is even stronger because of this experience. My mum was a star during this period and did everything she could to make things easier for us, for which we are all eternally grateful.

We've all been effected by someone who has passed away with cancer and i would really appreciate any donations however big or small for such a great cause, and in memory of my wonderful dad, Paul Antony Burton Buckley.

I'll be running 10k for Cancer Research UK 31 July. 

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