My NICU journey began on the 12th of July this year when I received a phone call from my sister in law, calmly telling me that my wife Kirsten had been taken to hospital in Fort William with early signs of labour and badly haemorrhaging. She told me "not to worry" but that I should probably get "The Hospital Bag" and make my way up to Inverness where Kirsten was being blue lighted to due to the seriousness of the situation. My First thought was "WHAT, how can she be in labour, it's nowhere near time!" my second thought was "HOSPITAL BAG?!?" we hadn't even got round to preparing a Hospital bag, so there i was trying not to panic, shoving what ever I could find into a "Hospital Bag" packing one pair of boxers and socks for myself not expecting to need anymore as I was still thinking there is no way the baby was coming this early. 

Oh how wrong I would be......  

On the 13th of July after a drop in his heart rate and being starved of oxygen Machair Gray Ballantyne was introduced to the world at 3.47am taking his first breath unaided at 3.49am, weighing 4lbs 7oz and dropping to 4lbs on discharge. My meeting with my newborn son was brief, after he was delivered I was left standing in a room completely alone as both he and Kirsten were taken away. Kirsten for emergency surgery, and Machair for his "Neonatal Golden Hour" this involved him being stabilised, his airways cleared, his temperature regulated, and a cannula inserted into his tiny fragile veins to allow antibiotics to be administered as a preventative measure against potential Sepsis. This is not the "Golden hour" Kirsten and I had hoped for. It was such a surreal moment standing alone, not really knowing what to do. The reassurance from the nurses and doctors got me through the early hours of the morning, after a while a nurse suggested I go and get some rest... but where? I was 300 miles from home. she helped me to arrange emergency accommodation at the hospital and I had to leave for my accommodation without seeing my wife or child until the next morning at 8am. Overnight Machair's breathing had slowed and his O2 sats were concerning, he had to be placed in a hot cot to help regulate his temperature and stabilise his breathing, the next few days were a blur of tests and learning the ropes of "Neonatal cares" where someone else tells you when you can hold your baby and how to feed and change them so as not to damage their ting fragile bodies. Machair was fed through an NG tube as at his gestation the suck, swallow, breath relax has not fully developed meaning bottle feeding had to be slowly introduced.  What I thought would be a short stay was looking likely to stretch out until the 24th of August (Machair's Due date) as he was seen as stable and not an emergency there was no Neonatal Transfer team available to get Machair to Glasgow. Finally on day 6, the stars aligned and both a bed and a transfer team were available and willing to make the 600mile round trip to get our baby one step closer to home. This was a bitter sweet moment, although we were going to be closer to home it was the first time we would be returning to our own house after becoming parents but without our baby.

Machair had a further 4 days in the NICU at the QEUH. the team in the Unit were amazing, they helped to make Kirsten and I feel as comfortable as possible, no question or request was too much. Before leaving the Unit Machair had to hit a variety of checks and the Nurses really helped Kirsten and I understand the importance of these and what lay ahead for us. finally we were approached by one of the team and asked if we wanted to "room in" our hearts skipped a beat - this is the last check before we were allowed to get Machair home - we had to demonstrate that we could cope with Machairs cares over night and Machair had to demonstrate that he could maintain his stats off the monitors for a prolonged period of time. we did it, and after what seemed like a lifetime, our baby was coming home! 

 If it wasn't for the quick thinking of my sister in-law Lauren, the Midwifes in Fort William, the SCBU team in Raigmore, ScotSTAR transfer team and the Neonatal unit at QEUH, our story could have been drastically different, their support cannot be underestimated. I learnt first hand that we are finite, almost loosing my wife and the life of my child has put a lot into perspective for me, life can change in the blink of an eye. Both Kirsten and I are eternally grateful to each and every person that was involved in Machair's care. 

We are keen to play our part in giving back to such a fantastic cause and help those who find themselves in a similar situation to ourselves - to help them see that the stinging pain of helplessness will abate.

To give back we are going to do a few events throughout the year to raise money for charities involved with the care and research into Premature Babies, and the causes behind premature labour.

Lots of Love

Iain, Kirsten and Machair