Here I go again, asking for your money. What has emboldened me to do such a thing, other than a need to validate my own wokeness, this time?

Every time I hear a friend has lost a baby it hits me like a tonne of bricks. I can’t stand it and I can’t even try to comprehend how devastating it is for the parents and their families. It’s just not fair.  I absolutely hate that impotent feeling of not being able to help, words are never enough, and this is pretty much a response to that feeling. I want to do something to acknowledge and respect that loss, particularly when a simple hug is out of the question. 

I’m glad miscarriage is becoming less of a taboo, I was struck last year by seeing so many dads commenting on their experiences and while I have no doubt opening up was tough, I think it’s valuable, it promotes awareness, increases action and, I hope, it’s healing too. 

The grieving process is unique to the individual and I respect the bravery shown by all parents who endure this but I am worried about the support available in the current crisis with access to friends and family and our usual support networks so heavily disrupted. Again, that’s why organisations like Sands do such invaluable work. 

I turn 40 in July. My sister, Stephanie, would have turned 33. Ben and Rosie are the same ages as Sophie and I were when my parents lives were turned upside down. I often think of these parallels, especially when I answer of my own good fortune and privilege. I know how much help Sands provided my parents. 

So here I am, asking for your cash. As is traditional in our odd means of funding our charities, I will participate in an arbitrary challenge, I will run 100 miles in 100 days. I’m cheating a bit though, I started this challenge for unconnected reasons on the 1st Jan. I’ve done the first 26 miles and aim to be done by  10th April.  Your generosity is hugely motivating though and any donation is hugely appreciated.

I hope to raise £500, I’m particularly interested in funding research as I think the only way to reducing the loss is through scientific understanding. In the meantime, I’ll kick things off with £150, that covers 7 Memory Boxes for bereaved parents, sadly that barely covers the babies I know my friends have lost in the last 12 months and I’m sure I have other friends who have not shared their loss.