When I woke up on January 1, 2014, the first thought I had was, "This could be the year that I have another baby."
It's possible. There are 12 months in a year and babies only take 9 to cook, so it could happen.
You see, we've been trying for 2 years now. I didn't think I would get so upset if a sibling for Baby wasn't immediately forthcoming, but the truth of it is that I am. Every month, I experience similar disappoint to what I felt for 3 and a half years while we tried for Number 1.
Like the first time around, people can be inconsiderate with their questions. I find it mildly irritating when people ask when we will be having a little brother or sister for Baby. Or when they tell me that many people who have problems conceiving the first time around find that it's a breeze for the second. And in my NCT class, half have already had their number twos (I'm very happy for all of them, by the way).
We don't really want to try IVF. Well, I don't anyway. We have been down that road before and I found it to be upsetting and I just didn't like the experience.
And then there is Alex. I've mentioned him before on this blog a long time ago. Alex was my little brother. He lived for one hour. I don't think I really understood what that must have done to my mother and father until I became a mother myself. And I think that deep down I am scared that it could happen to me, too.
So when our friends at Borne asked if I wanted to climb Mt Kilimanjaro this year and raise £10,000 for their charity, I said yes. Their mission is to save babies like Alex or, in their words, to prevent disability and death in childbirth and create lifelong health for mothers and babies. It sounds like a wonderful thing to do while I wait for my ovaries to kick into play for one last match.
The walk is in August. In fact, I'll be turning 40 up the mountain (more great news for my fertility!). At best I'll get pregnant and I'll have to put off the trip until another time. At worst I'll be having one of the best experiences of my life up a mountain with a famous English rugby player (that's you, Will Greenwood!). So I really can't lose.
We had the initial team meeting for Team Greens, as we are called, the other day at Beaufort House in Chelsea. Charity Challenge, the company running the expedition – and incidentally the same people who took Chris Moyles and Gary Barlow up the mountain – explained the trek to us: 5.5 days up the mountain, 1.5 down, burning days, freezing nights and uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. It was classed as “extreme” fundraising. Sounds like fun!
And as I stare at yet another negative pregnancy test, I can’t think of a better time thought to start the race between Baby 2 and Kilimanjaro.
So bring it on! Please help to kick off my donations, as £10,000 is another large mountain to climb, and make sure to check in with the blog (www.icarriedawatermelon.co.uk) once in a while to see how I’m getting on with my training. I’m going to need your support.