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This time last year I had just started a life changing journey at a weight of 512lbs.

I could barely walk 50yards at a time, my health was poor and I mentally felt trapped by body and mind! 

I know I needed change desperately, But having spent spent the last 15 years losing and gaining weight I felt pretty hopeless in achieveing a long term change. Each time I'd choose some diet fad that would lose alot of weight fast and each time I was mentally unprepared for the long term change and ultimately ended up back in my old habits.

It's not until I approched it with an aim of aiding the mind and not just the numbers on a scale that it began to clear the haze.

All to often overweight people are seen as lazy people that don't respect themselves. who choose to be bigger and just 'let themselves go' . With a perspective that there just eating food they love and not caring about consciences.

I can assure you at the peak of my addiction and mental termoil I was not eating what I loved, I was in a spiral of self destructive hatred and would punish myself by eating plain bread until my throat got sore from swallowing, I didn't see a way out and I was fully aware of the damage I was doing to myself but at the time I wanted to inflict it I 'deserved' it 

My main aim of doing this is to perhaps change a few people's perspective on the way society visions the life of a larger person.

All to often when bigger you will get told in many different ways you need to eat less move more' be healthy. As if it's easy to just change overnight. When in reality the approach needs to be along the path of mental health, the mind is what causes and what has the power to repair. 

It's not some quick fix diet or just a matter of losing the weight will make you happy, infact I guarantee if you could magically wake up with the body you've always wanted 8/10 of those people would still feel as much suffering and mental distress as the day before!

It's a journey of self love learning to be ok with being you and taking time to forgive yourself because although when I was bigger I loved to blame everything else the one thing I blamed the most was myself. Leading to the spiral of hatred and dry bread all over again.

So next time you see someone who's so big they make you double look and those thoughts of how did they let themselves get like that, brush that aside, understand there going through personal battles but are yet to discover the path to get themselves on the road to recovery. 

I always get asked how did I lose 280lbs in a year.. well it wasn't a special diet...I've tried all of those. It was by takling my mind, the causes and what I can do to help with them, then once the belief started to emerge and the self respect started to grow the rest started to fall into place. It's by no means easy and the habits of 30+ years are still engraved into me but understanding that I am Worth the change and being able to appreciate the world around me, helps get me through.

And this is the understanding message I want to raise awareness for that no matter how stuck you feel mentally and no matter how impossible it seems there is a way through. And it begins with the Mind.

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