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I'm Lisa, mum of 3 amazing little girls. Tillie is almost 9. Her twin sisters, Maisy & Lottie just turned 7. In 2018 Maisy was diagnosed with an aggressive kidney cancer: a Wilms Tumour. She had surgery to remove a large tumour and her kidney. She had 12 months of chemo, 3 weeks of radiation, and topped it off with heart surgery for a previously undiscovered hole in the heart.

So, I am cutting my hair to raise funds for Bandanas For The Brave, a wonderful, family-run charity that gives free bandanas to young people suffering hair loss due to cancer treatment. And I am donating my hair to Little Princess Trust, so they can make it into wigs for young people with hair loss. Extra photos will be added to my Facebook page.

Please take time to read our story:

In November 2018 our Maisy was diagnosed with a fast-growing, Wilms Tumour (kidney cancer). 7 days later she started chemo. She had just turned 4. Within 3 weeks her hair was matted and falling out in our hands. By Christmas we had to cut her hair. It was her first ever haircut. It was winter and her head was cold. Bandanas For The Brave donated Maisy a bandana...and when it was lost Bandanas For The Brave kindly sent her another. Maisy's Bandanas kept her bald head warm in the winter, and protected it from the sun in the summer.

Just before Maisy was diagnosed I'd had a routine haircut. Shortly afterwards, our lives became a whirlwind of living in the hospital and being in isolation if we were home. Maisy needed 24hour care and booking a haircut when you have a child with zero immunity (due to chemo) was impossible. And we could be racing back to hospital in the blink of an eye. We couldn't plan anything. Haircuts for mum weren't important. Keeping Maisy safe and her sisters stable was the priority for us.

My hair became a representation of my trauma. My first opportunity to get a haircut was February 2020...but I couldn't do it; I walked past the hairdresser numerous times..too afraid to go in. My hair was a way of looking as terrible on the outside as I did on the inside. It was a scar. If I cut my hair I feared I might look like myself again...look 'normal'. But I didn't feel normal. I was damaged. I still am in many ways.

In March 2020 Covid-19 closed all the hairdressers. The decision was out of my hands. And so I made a new decision: I would stop trimming the back of my hair myself (I'd done it a few times by then). I would grow it until Christmas and donate it.

Christmas came. My courage did not. I decided I would cut my hair for my birthday in May. May 2021 came; I still wasn't ready to part with my scar. I wasn't healed yet. I am still healing. I watch Maisy's hair grow, as blonde as it was before. Her hair is to her shoulders now. She still wears her bandanas with pride. They are a part of her journey. She treasures them. She remembers the softness of the material on her hairless head. They became part of her whacky personality, and still are.

A few weeks ago I made it into the hairdresser. I shed tears that rolled beneath my facemask as I made the appointment ("I'll cancel it anyway" I told myself). It has taken me 3 weeks since then to be almost sure I will not cancel it. And with a week to go, I am launching this JustGiving fundraiser. The target is steep, but was set by my girls choosing a random number each! Let's give it a shot!

Will I miss my long hair? Am I looking forward to it being cut? My hair is past my shoulders; longer than it's been my entire life. I won't miss the way it smothers my face when I sleep at night; I won't miss the heaviness when it's tied up; I won't miss the itchy feeling it causes on my neck; I won't miss how long it takes to wash, or to dry. But it's a part of where we've been. Part of where I still feel I am. It's a part of me.

Maisy is almost (almost!) 2 years in remission. I'm still scared. I'm still scarred. I'll always be looking over my shoulder at the darkness that came from those days when my children spent weeks apart to reduce risk of infection, incase it delayed the chemo she needed to fight the cancer. My baby had no hair, no eyebrows, and very few eyelashes. It brings a tear and a feeling of sickness thinking about it.

A haircut won't take me back to who I was. I'll never be that person again. But I need to move forwards. So please make this event worthwhile. Please give me the nudge not to cancel this haircut by donating and much more importantly, please support a fantastic charity that made a huge difference to my little girl. Covid-19 crippled many charities, and now they need our help to continue. My child needed those bandanas. And sadly, many more children & young people will need them too.

My haircut is a choice. Chemo doesn't let children chose. It takes their hair, their self-esteem and their identity.

Your support to Bandanas For The Brave is deeply appreciated. I can't thank Bandanas For The Brave enough.

Lisa, Maisy's Mum.