I have stage 4 metatastic cancer and also has leukaemia with extensive damage to my peripheral nerves from chemotherapy. I've been battling cancer now for 5 years and over the last 20 months, it has spread to my liver. I'm in pain 24 hours a day and have to take a cocktail of drugs to get through the day. Life is really quite tough and I'll be honest in saying there are days I wish it was all over, but I plod on and fight another day. I occasionally lose control of my bladder and bowel and always when I'm in a public place, I should come with a warning sign for smells and splashes!! Ok, enough of that :)
Anyone who is dealing with serious cancer will know what a shit place it can be; you question everything, you feel alone, you feel guilt because people around you suffer, you want to go back to normal but it doesn't exist anymore and when asked how we are, it is always 'I''m good' because it is hard enough for friends and family and you don't want to lose or hurt them.
Charities such as the UTS Foundation and others stop the feeling of drowning and feeling alone. They are the ones you can honestly say how you feel without it being judged and they encourage it with the goal of being able to help even if it only just to listen and catch you on those days you don't want to go on and those drugs look like a way out.
Because of the UTS Foundation and others I keep going and I smile...a lot! I'm happy most days despite the pains and the drugs and the treatments. Humour can be uplifting although I have to say it needs to be tempered when I hit a rubbish shot in golf - friends can be cruel but very funny!
So that's me and now I have the very bonkers idea to play golf for 72 holes in one day when I am usually in agony after 18. It's worth it, on the many days I can't cope, the support is there and without it I'm not entirely sure I would be here.
So I will give it everything to get round a golf course 4 times because in the same way the UTS Foundation see me as worth saving, I see them as worth helping to raise funds so they can do the same for others like me in the future and after I am gone. I hope you will support me and give what you can to help.
Kind regards,
Mark Graham
