My dearest Mica.. she changed my life and kept the air beneath my wings.                   She’s left us too young and so much of her life left to live. We had so many plans for our future and it ended prematurely.               Those of you who were lucky enough to have met Mica know what she was fighting. She was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia in November 2016 and was beating the cancer into remission for 9 months before being released cured. We managed to relocate to the UK from Ireland and could finally start our lives living together. 2 weeks after moving to the UK her tests proved positive for Leukaemia and she was straight back into treatment with 2 cycles of Chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant to beat it. She caught an infection after the first chemo cycle and hadn’t the immunity to fight it off. It couldn’t be cleared and there was nothing left to fix her. She was in excruciating pain for a long time struggling to breathe and her heart working for 3 adults. I was told suddenly that she had hours to live and that I should keep her happy. I couldn’t tell her the outlook and kept her optimistic and in comfort until her final breathe as our lips joined one last time.                                 She was an angel. Those that know her knew what a wonderful and pure soul she had and what a sensational presence she emitted. She was loved by everyone and will be deeply missed and the world a little worse off.        The purpose of this fundraising is what you make it. I’ve chosen a natural charity given the circumstances but that’s not all I’m advocating. By all means donate here on this page. It can really make a difference to the research into cancers and how to battle them.  I’ve seen first hand how it makes a difference! But the biggest message I want to send in the wake of Mica’s passing is not to waste your time. Your time on this Earth is finite. You WILL lose someone and you will pass away yourself. Treat every day as your last. I found out it was Mica’s last day 7 Hours before she passed. I was extremely lucky to have had that time with her. Despite withholding her destiny from her I was able to let her know how much I loved her. But we won’t all be this lucky so spread your love! Make someone smile! Be nice to strangers and do good in this life. There’s so much we can all do to make this world more beautiful.                  Mica personally would want us all to donate. I can’t tell you how many units of blood and platelets she went through (it would be a 3 figure sum!). It’s quick and painless and they make the world of difference! Please check your eligibility before registering and please also resister here as a organ donor:

https://my.blood.co.uk/Account/register

Mica was due to have her sister’s bone marrow transplanted. Again, it’s quick and simple to be put on the register and to await a call that you will save someone’s life. She would have been so happy if we could all sign up to this as well!

https://www.anthonynolan.org/8-ways-you-could-save-life/donate-your-stem-cells

Another simple option is to give your unwanted possessions to those amazing Charity shops. They are wonderful places and again.. you’re helping. So let’s all let Mica’s life and soul influence our way of life. We can all help each other one way or another by the simplest of ways. I leave you know with a YouTube video. Please only watch if you can spare 20 minutes of solitude. You can always save it for later but it’s a very small ‘snippet’ summary of our life visually and aurally (however these are not synchronised so it will not make much sense watching and listening together unfortunately). Also understand the audio is my final speech to Mica on her death bed (Eulogy) ..do not listen if you’re disinterested in our time together. It’s deep.

https://youtu.be/l-50Lz5Vpx0

*****UPDATE*****For those who need a translation of the Eulogy from the Youtube video see below: (you may have to orientate your screen to landscape to get to the end)

My dear Mica.                                                    My wife, my fiancée, my best friend, my world and my one.. You were my life ..my constant thought and the air in my lungs.. I’m more sorry than you can imagine for the pain you had to go through.. you fought harder than I could ever manage and you deserved better than the brief time you had on earth..You’re in peace now ..the pain has gone ..there’s no more endless suffering and struggle.. you’re free ..free to fly ..to fly with me always by my side ..to watch over me as I brave our world without you.. until I get to lay with you once more.. I fell in love with you from the moment I laid eyes on your beauty.. you were faultless ..far more beautiful than I could have ever hoped for ..but it was your soul that fulfilled me.. your gentle, pure, clean and innocent approach to life.. you really were an incredibly wonderful person through and through.. I knew what I had found and I did everything I could to secure you in my life.. we had such memorable moments in a world that tried to break us in every way.. we were forced to part ways momentarily and it was our biggest mistake.. we knew we could find a way to be together even a 1000 miles away and with you facing deportation.. we made it back to each other and I loved you even more ..We had our secret wedding to satisfy the law and to keep you in Ireland ..even if the cancer had attacked you by then and you started your relentless battle to survive.. I will never forget that night as your brother told me the news.. I was crazy like a gorilla ..but you calmed me down ..you were always so brave and strong ..I rushed to you as we started the whirlwind of a faux-honeymoon in the hospital ward.. as you paddled through streams of infections, injections, clots and lots of pain.. you battled the cancer into remission though and after 9 months in hospital you made it out.. You made me the proudest husband in the world.. and words cannot describe what it felt to have you to myself finally.. as we began to build our life together.. But it was never simple.. the world is very backward.. the hoops we had to jump through just for us to be together ..simply because of the place of your birth?? But we persisted even when your visa expired and we were running out of options ..all the while your bloods slowly reducing.. But I took my chance to finally officially propose to you ..a year after our wedding -which may be a bit backward on our behalf! ..but you know why! This day didn’t go as I had planned but lucky I had a plan D to factor in your temperamental health -even if you suspected everything ..you knew me too well for me to surprise you.. but I’m so happy you said yes.. again! Then came the news we were waiting so long for ..you were granted entry to the UK where we finally had some solid ground to work with.. ..but life would be way to easy if there was only good news.. so of course your Leukaemia came back for Christmas.. just what we needed ..but we always stayed positive and looked at the bright side ..I lost some finger which enabled me to support you in hospital.. we had a plan ..couple more cycles of chemo and a bone marrow transplant and we could finally start to live our life.. The plan was working and you were amazing in hospital as I spent every hour with you.. we finally could spend some prolonged time together amidst the observations and wake up calls.. then it happened ..a gust of air ..a butterfly’s wake ..you were vulnerable and fragile my dear.. you got an infection ..Pneumonia initially ..this was horrible ..watching you struggle to catch your breathe ..sleepless nights of coughing and pain.. the pain was always there ..your headaches, nausea, dizziness, diarrhoea, constipation, bleeding, picc lines, cannulars ..you hated them so much! I adored your courage ..I’ll never forget your face of terror during the picc line insertion ..it’s imprinted in my mind forever as I tried to comfort you ..I can only wish no one has to suffer the way you did ..but unfortunately many will.. ..so now you’re gone ..It was so hard to say goodbye.. you have no idea! ..When I rushed in to your room in the morning to see you this weak ..I still couldn’t ever have imagined what would happen to you.. it was never an option in my mind.. we were supposed to be together forever.. but life fucks up.. They said you’d go to ICU as a precaution.. I still had no idea ..and obviously neither did you.. When after a few hours of you struggling the doctor pulled me aside into the room ..I was expecting to hear good news on your recovery.. it was not good news.. 99.9% chance of dying within hours? Thanks ..now what do I do? Do you think I was prepared for this ultimatum? How do you even approach this?? There was no point wasting time ..I knew that the love of my life wasn’t going to make it ..there was nothing to fix you ..the team tried everything and you were only getting worse.. your immunity was zero ..you had an infection in the colon and lungs and fluid filling your heart and lungs.. surgery was impossible in your state and prolonging your life with an automatic respirator was too dangerous ..you were going to shut down within hours ..your heart and lungs running 5 marathons back to back ..and I didn’t know what to say.. I hid my tears as I put on my poker face and tried everything to keep you optimistic and painless.. I couldn’t tell you you weren’t going to survive ..it would have destroyed you and made you miserable ..please understand baby that I did it to protect you.. I know how sensitive you are and how much you wanted to live.. but it wasn’t possible! ..you were drawn a terrible hand my love ..a life that was beautiful but premature ..there was so much more promised for you.. I’m so sorry for your last hours ..it was torturous waiting for the inevitable and seeing you in such a struggle.. near the end you had to concentrate so much on keeping your lungs delivering the demanded air that you started to lose your senses.. I’m happy at least I could catch you before this to tell you how much I love you ..and to hear it back from you ..I asked you where you wanted to have our big wedding ..of course you said Brazil.. so I’ll be with you in Brazil soon babe ..I’ll see you there!         You were so frightened at the end as nothing was working and you were only getting worse.. I am so sorry that we couldn’t help you ..and I couldn’t tell you. ..at this point we relieved the pain one last time and gave you a relaxant.. but it was soon time to go to sleep ..I watched you the whole time babe ..I saw your brain begin to shut down as I held your head and climbed on top of you.. I know you heard what I said next ..you stayed awake just enough for me to tell you how much I love you.. and how we’ll meet again.. I held your body and closed your vacant eyes as your heart and lungs stopped their pumping.. you felt no pain then my love ..I made sure ..I just wish it didn’t have to be like this ..but I’m happy to have kissed you goodbye and inhaled your soul.. you’ll live with me forever and guide me through the hard times and enjoy the good.. I’m so so so proud to have had you in this life ..you really can’t imagine how I’m going to miss you.. and I wish it could have been me ..to take away this horrible cancer ..to relieve you of that pain.. it was relentless ..but you’re in peace now ..with me ..always.. I love you Micaelle Marinho Ramos.. my one ..you’re extraordinary