Hello there,

Here is my story. 

In March 2016 I was finally hospitalised with an out of control flare up of Ulcerative Colitis. UC is an autoimmune disease similar to crohns which causes inflammation and ulceration to the colon. I had been diagnosed five years earlier after a few months of awful digestive problems. Between diagnosis and admission I had given birth to our beautiful daughters Annabelle and Ayla and was working as a ward sister at the Royal Devon and Exeter hospital. My colitis had been manageable but never under control in spite of all the available treatments I had tried. Different diets, supplements, medication, enemas. Nothing worked. 

At the point of admission I was going to the toilet and passing blood and mucous upwards of 30 times a day. The flare had worsened slowly, so much so that I hadn't acknowledged how bad it had become. I often had accidents. The urgency I experienced was severe. I remember one day having to use one of Aylas nappies in the car as there was no way I could wait the 5 minutes it would take to get home. I did it in floods of tears. I was embarrassed, ashamed and was afraid to show anyone how weak I was feeling. The invisibility of the illness meant I was under pressure at work to justify any periods of absence and as a ward sister my responsibility as a role model weighed heavily. I was still working long days and night shifts when my disease was at its worst. I was nipping off to the bathroom so regularly that I think the team was used to it. I was mum to two young children, which is tiring as it is. Both spent many an hour in the bathroom with me.  No one in my life had really heard of UC before. Being a nurse made it easier to talk about but I still did not describe the more gruesome symptoms I was experiencing. It was quite lonely. 

One day I got up and just knew I couldn't continue. I was completely depleated, exhausted and very unwell. My husband Phil was amazing and immediately took some time off work. Within hours my dad was on his way to help. I had an urgent colonoscopy after a consultation with Claire, one of the RD&E's excellent IBD nurses. The scope showed just how bad a state my colon was in. Ulcerated, inflamed and bleeding. My consultant was shocked when I said I had been working with my bowel in such a poor condition. 

I stayed in hospital for 10 days. It was there that I had my first dose of Infliximab. A drug which I now have infused into a vein in my arm every 8 weeks. It is a strong  biological drug sometimes used as chemotherapy. It affects my immune system so I need to stay away from certain situations and environments to avoid exposure to infection but on it I steadily improved and had lots of time to think about my situation. Being in hospital and away from my family was easily one of the hardest things I have ever been through. Neither child coped well, I was still breastfeeding Ayla and so she had to go cold turkey. Annabelle was so distressed at her second visit that we decided they should not visit again. I blamed myself a lot, mostly for not looking after myself properly. I vowed that I would speak up sooner, ask for help, say no. I decided that I needed to do everything I possibly could to stay well for myself and for them. Sadly this meant that I could no longer work in the job I loved so much. The work I was doing was gruelling and impossible to continue whilst staying well. I now work on the nurse bank. I can manage my hours and let no one down if I am not up to working a shift. It also has solved all childcare issues (but that is another story.)

And then came my running. 

I started a 0-5k program at the end of May 2016. It took a long time to work through it as I was still slowly recovering and going to the hospital regularly for infusions. I had not really exercised much since childhood so was starting from scratch. Over the winter I had cough after cold. I ran my first 5k on boxing day that year with my dad and brother James on the Isle of Wight and since then I haven't looked back. 

I ran initially for my health, I appreciated it so much more since it had been lost and promised myself I would do everything I could to protect it. Then, I realised that it was a medicine of sorts. My symptoms especially fatigue (a biggie) were much improved after a run. I then decided that I was not going to let my illness define me but neither was I going to run from it any more.  A huge driving factor for me is to show my daughters what I and hence they are capable of in spite of any challenges that life may throw apon us. I want to be a good role model through my actions, not just my words and I want them to understand that you have to work for worthwile rewards. 

Then I discovered that I had a platform to raise awareness.Talking to people about running opened up conversations about my UC and IBD. I could tell people a bit about what living with UC is like so that next time they come across someone with the disease they might understand them a little more. 

After three half marathons I now feel ready to take on the full 26.2 miles!!! I know I will need to be careful in my training but I have a good plan and a wonderful training partner, my amazing friend and running buddy Naomi. 

I have chosen Crohn's and Colitis uk as my charity because of the invaluable work they do in research, patient education and providing support to those that need it for every stage in their IBD journey. They provide such good information and guidance which really helped me especially during those early days of diagnosis when I had no clue about what I was facing. 

There is at this point in time no cure for IBD and my disease is so stubborn that my current plan of treatment is indefinite infliximab. It is not ideal but it is what it is. I have no idea what lies ahead for me health wise but I plan to stay in remission for as long as I possibly can. Hopefully forever. (Yes, touching wood Dad!)

I hope that one day we will know what causes IBD  and that a cure may be discovered. This will not happen without research though and I am sure that CCUK will play its part. I hope by raising awareness less people will have to suffer and struggle in silence as I did. The more we talk about something the weaker the stigma becomes. 

I am so lucky and thankful to currently be well enough to even consider this challenge but there are thousands of people out there who are not. Please help me support them and raise awareness of crohns and colitis. I promise I will do my best to make myself, my family and all of you proud! 

With lots of love,

Vic xxx

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.