As these things sometimes happen, it started off with a joke, and it spiralled out of control. In a good way. I'm having a Permanent Ileostomy on the 21st of April. I'll have a Stoma (or as I like to call it, a #BionicBumhole). I'm 50/50 on how I feel, well, more like, 75% on the positive.
Someone posted on Facebook a picture of The Facilities at the restaurant on the top of The Shard a few days ago, and I joked "I would like to have My Final Poop there". I then realised, there are many wonderful amazing toilets that this city has to offer, that i'd also like to use; before it's too late... such as at Harrods, Royal Albert Hall, Houses of Parliament (etc).
And that's how the idea was born. I plan, with the help of The Hive Mind (and the #S**tLondon FB group), to spend the next month visiting as many as I can - and also blogging up the experience along the way.
It also occurred to me, that this can raise awareness/a few bob, for Those Who Can Not Wait. Many time, i've been in a desperate dire circumstances, and have had to haggle "But i'll leave a tip / I'll buy a starter or drink" etc, only to be told "For staff use only / I need to ask my manager" - when time was not on my side.....Or I've been in toilets, and they've been left in a terrible nightmare-inducing state. I have a little card now, which helps, but it's still an issue.
So, if anyone would like to help me on this journey, knows of amazing lavatories that they could gain me access too, then please get in touch with me via here, @PaulyPutz on Twitter or fb.com/P4ulypops .
Many Thanks to those who can donate.
Many Thanks to those who can gain me access to such places.
Many Thanks to those who "Leave the room how you would like to find it".
Many Thanks to those who hear the words "Please, hurry up... please, hurry" whilst perched upon thrown; and comply with pleading request.
Many Thanks for just reading this / joining me.
I hope your Game Boy doesn't run out of batteries, I hope your phone is charged up for long enough, I hope your Kindle has saved your last reading place & , in worst case scenarios, I hope you can reach the back of the shampoo bottle (or the receipts in your wallet are interesting).
- Paul "Pauly Pops / PP / Gonz" Silver.
P.S - #MyFinalPoops blogging can be found here: http://paul.gd/tag/myfinalpoops
Disclaimer: One's Bowels are a law unto themselves; and although accidents are unlikely; so is performance enqueue - in that situation, i'll just sit there for a bit and read a bit of Martina Cole / Lev Grossman / Game of Thrones.