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We are completing our 500 mile cycle challenge to raise awareness of men's mental health. Poor mental health will effect most of us at some point in our lives but it is well recognised that men will often struggle in silence and finder it harder than women to talk or reach out for help.  The current situation with the pandemic has isolated us from our family and friends, so now more than ever we need to support each other.... ladies look out for your husbands, fathers, brothers, uncles and sons.

Did you know, 

• There were 5,691 deaths by suicide in England and Wales in 2019, this equates to 18 per day. In Northern Ireland there were 197 deaths. 
• Suicide is the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45
• Three times as many men as women die by suicide 
• Men report lowers levels of life satisfaction than women 
• Men are less likely to access psychological therapies than women. 
• Nearly 3/4 of adults who go missing are men 
• Men are nearly three times as likely as women to become dependant on alcohol and three times more likely to report frequent drug use 
• Men are more likely to be compulsorily detained for treatment than women 

Both our families have been touched by the devastation and grief of suicide and we have both lost young men, stolen from us by suicide.   

Deborah would like to share her personal story, 

In August 2019 my world changed forever when suicide stole my younger brother, Ross when he was just 31 years old. The death of someone you care about is often painful, but the grief felt can be more complex and traumatic when the cause of death is suicide. The devastation, grief and trauma caused by Ross' suicide emanated like a ripple effect touching everyone who knew him. 

For the first time in my adult life I needed help to understand and comprehend the feelings of numbness, confusion, emptiness, anger, blame, grief, and trauma. ( to mention just a few)! These emotions were battling in my head and playing with my personality to the point I didn't recognise who I was anymore. 

Luckily, I had the support of my husband, sister and close friends but I was also strong enough to reach out and seek professional help.  

Ross was loved dearly by his family and friends but he choose not to talk to us about his problems. He was fun loving, hard working and love music and concerts. He also enjoyed a good conspiracy theory!!  There were no warning signs and it came as a complete shock to everyone.       

Nikki is completing the challenge in memory of Callum who lost his life at the innocent age of 20. Callum would have celebrated his 21st birthday a couple of weeks after he lost his life. Callum is missed sorely by everyone he knew him, by all his family and friends. 

We are raising awareness to encourage men to open up and talk to family, friends and professionals. Men need to know it is safe for them to open up and talk. They need to understand that talking about their feelings is not a sign of weakness and that seeking help is not a sign of defeat.  Its okay not to be okay. 

Those of you who know us will know Nikki and I are keen cyclists and ride with Winsford Wheelers and Weaver Valley.... for a bit of fun! But this is on a whole new level. We are under no illusion that 500 miles in 5 days  is going to be extremely challenging both mentally and physically.  We are both increasing our training with longer rides and eating healthily.  The biggest challenge will be sitting in the saddle for 5 consecutive days !!

It will be an honour to complete this challenge in memory of Callum and Ross, two young outgoing men who had their whole lives in front of them. If sharing our stories can help just one man find the confidence to seek help and prevent another family going through the trauma of suicide then the challenge will have been worth it.