On 4th September, my eldest daughter Kathryn and I will be taking part in the North West 10 mile 25 obstacle Tough Mudder Event at Cholmondeley Castle, Cheshire. We are raising money for Lancashire Mind in memory of our beloved daughter and sister Mary, whom we lost to suicide last year. 

As a family we are focused on Mental Health Awareness issues and Suicide Prevention. If sharing Mary’s story and doing events such as this to raise funds to support the work Lancashire Mind are doing can prevent one person from following the same path as Mary, and the associated pain it creates for that person's family and friends then that alone would be a great result.

Mary's Story

Mary was a beautiful young woman, working for the NHS as a
trainee nursing associate. She was caring, considerate and compassionate. She had drive and determination. She hated injustice and discrimination. Mary would always “have your back” as she was steadfast, dependable and loyal. She had the most amazing friends who she called her “best girls". She was capable, practical and shrewd. She was a problem solver and a fixer. She was feisty, spirited and passionate. Her generosity knew no bounds Mary was truly amazing and unique. She radiated a warmth that touched your heart, with a smile that could light up a room. Mary suffered from “depression” a disease that was trying to hold her back at every turn – yet she managed to excel in her work and education, still managed to keep a loyal group of friends and was a phenomenal daughter, sister and auntie – but in the end it robbed her of her ability to live life how she wanted. The fact that she was loved, admired and adored by everyone she met whilst carrying this burden is testament to just what a wonderful young woman she was.

This is why we want to share Mary’s story to support mental
health awareness and to dispel the stigma attached to depression and suicide. Depression doesn’t discriminate, it doesn’t care if you are male or female, young or old, rich or poor, your race or religion. It is an illness of the mind just as cancer is an illness of the body.

Here are some of the words from the first reading Mary wrote
for her funeral……

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die

You believe everything you do is wrong.

You overthink every situation no matter how big or small.

You trust nobody, because you believe every person that cares or loves you is against you.

You believe you’re good for nothing and nobody.

You have a loving family but feel alone.

You have the best friends you could ever wish for but still feel alone.

You hate yourself.

You get defensive about everything and you push the people you love the most away.

Some days you are ok the next you’re not.

Putting on a brave face drains you. 

The person you used to be is no longer there and you feel so empty.

It doesn’t matter how big someone’s smile is or how confident they portray themselves to be, everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about, SO JUST BE KIND!!