We’ve all had to take our child to the hospital at least once when they are small, and it’s normally an upsetting time. Imagine reliving that experience every day for months, whilst your baby is in hospital. 
When you think of premature babies it’s nothing like what you expect. What you experience is a journey, and I’d like to take you through mine. 

It’s was a normal day for Amit and I. I went into work that morning, and my husband Amit dropped our son Caleb to nursery, telling him that mummy would pick him up later. The same day I had a scan booked at Queen Charlottes Hospital where I would meet Amit before he started work. 

The consultant met us both and led us to the to the room where I would have my scan. Little did we know that from that day onwards our lives would be turned upside down. 

The consultant told us that our baby girl was not growing in my womb anymore and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it from happening. He was also very concerned about the baby’s weight as she was weighing less then 500g. We were then told that I needed to deliver within the next few days or the baby would most likely not make it. Our baby was given a 50/50 chance of survival, and a chance that she may have complications due to her weight. In that moment the world stopped around me and I felt numb and scared.

It was the most difficult decision of our lives. Do I deliver the baby who had a 50/50 chance of survival or do I keep the baby inside my womb and risk her heart stopping where she would have no chance to survive. 

At 26 weeks pregnant with a whole range of scenarios going through my mind, we decided to deliver the baby, as we wanted to give her a chance of life or a chance to live.

I had never had an operation before in my life. I had never even heard of a neonatal team or what they do. Doctors from the neonatal team came and spoke to us before I delivered. They explained everything to us, and even though they couldn’t guarantee that our baby would survive, they gave us comfort and confidence to go ahead with the delivery. 

On October 27th 2017 at 1302 hours Lilliana Tailor was born, weighing only 484g. The most difficult thing about having a major operation was not the pain I went through, but it was the fact that I couldn’t see or hold my newborn baby. She was taken out of my womb and put straight into an incubator ready to wheel off to the neonatal Ward. I was allowed to put my hand into incubator for a couple of seconds to touch my daughter for the first time. Then she was gone again. 

The next time I saw Lilliana was when she was in her incubator on the neonatal ward linked up to countless lines and tubes. At that point the hope that she would make it was the only thing going through my mind. Lilliana was the smallest baby on that ward and the next few days were crucial for her.

Lilliana pulled through and is currently still in hospital, and since then it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. You are constantly taking one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think your child is having a good few days, they get sick again, all due to being premature and having a low immune system. 

Without the care and dedication of all the staff and the equipment they use to care for premature babies, babies would not have the chance to survive.

The Winnicott foundation charity provides the latest equipment for sick children and also provides accommodation and support for parents whilst their child is in hospital. This is why we would like to give something back.

The hardest thing for us is saying goodnight to our daughter every night, and coming home to an empty cot. What give’s us comfort is the nurses and doctors who work 24 hours to provide care for Lilliana with a smile on their face each time we see them. 

I can’t thank my family and friends enough for their love and support through this testing and challenging time. However, words cannot express our gratitude and appreciation to the staff at QCCH where our daughter started her journey, and Hillingdon Hospital where our daughter continues her journey.