I didnt have an easy pregnancy, at 29 weeks I was diagnosed with Still's Disease, a rare form of Arthritis. 

With trips backwards and forwards to two different hospitals for growth scans, steroids and appointments with two consultants with my rheumatologist and obstetrician for over a period of 5 weeks, I was assured Phoebe-Jo was going to be okay and wouldn't be effected by the Still's Disease. 

At 34 weeks gestation, on Wednesday 5/10/11, experiencing braxton hicks, I went for a routine growth scan and follow-up appointment, everything was fine, Phoebe-Jo was doing her usual dance about the screen turning her back and playing games, speaking to my obstetrician after the scan she wasn't happy with my skin colouring and immediately she ordered bloods to be taken. I was given the option to go home but the possibility of coming back up to be admitted or to stay overnight saving a journey back. I opted to stay in to save any messing about and any hassle. 

I was diagnosed with Jaundis and cholostasis of the liver, they kept me in another night while they treated me. Friday 7th I was told I could finally, definately be induced on Sunday 9th with a possibility of being able to go in on Saturday 8th if they had a free spot on the induction suite at all during the day. 

Totally overjoyed that I was meeting my baby girl early I couldn't wait to see her, hear her cry and cuddle her! I rang my parents and told them the good news, giving them a list as long as my arm for stuff to bring up for Phoebe-Jo. I rested for the rest of the day on the Friday, I dont know how I managed to with the amount of excitement I had in me, but I did. 

My dad came up on the Saturday while my mum was at work, he spent the whole day with me, we sneaked off to the cafe for a bite to eat and watched films while pigging out on sweets, Phoebe-Jo was wriggling about in my tummy all day, come 19:30 it was time for my dad to go home. I lay in bed trying to contain my excitement watching The X Factor. 

The midwife on duty that night came round at 22:30 for rounds checking my BP, pulse and heart trace. She was fine, so off to bed I went hugging my bump with the biggest grin on my face. I had more braxton hicks during the night, and slept as much as I could, but I didnt really care because I was going to meet her within a few days. 

05:45 I woke up way too excited, so I got up and made some toast and sat with Donna the midwife on duty and Vicky, one of the other girls on the ward. "Shannon, 7am theyre coming round for you" said an excited Donna, sharing the same excitement with me! I waddled back to my bed, keeping quiet while the other girls slept and started getting all of mine and Phoebe-Jo's things together to go around to the induction suite. At 06:20 I was sat back with Donna & Vicky talking about our pregnancies, and Donna  and Vicky's kids. 

I rang my parents to let them know that i was going round earlier but told them not to rush as there was an hour of observations that had to be done, so they went back to bed for an hour. Eventually it was time to go round to the induction suite, I was put on the heart trace machine, had my BP and pulse taken. I could see my bump moving aswell as Julie, the midwife taking care of me. It took 20 minutes for her "to get a heartbeat" but it wasn't Phoebe-Jo's heartbeat. 

She made an excuse of "I think she's gone breach" to go and get the portable scan unit. She quickly checked her over and said she had to get someone to check for Phoebe-Jo's bottom. I was completely oblivious to what was going on, my stomach was still wriggling and what felt like Phoebe-Jo still moving. The second midwife came in, checked Phoebe-Jo over again, "nope I cant find her bottom, i'm just going to get the head midwife to come and confirm a breach position" I rang my parents and told them that she'd possibly gone breach, they were 10minutes away anyway. 

Teres came in, sat on the bed, me still totally oblivious to what was going on. She scanned me again and switched the screen off.

"Shannon, I've got some bad news. I am so sorry, I don't know when it has happened, but your little girl has died." 

My world fell apart then and there, my ears started ringing. I couldn't breathe. I fell to the floor as I was being taken to "The Halcyon Suite" a room that is specifically made to deliver stillborn babies. I screamed, I didn't want anyone to touch me, no one could console me. I needed my mum. 

Teres had to call my parents to get them both to come up instead of just my mum. My parents came in the room and I tried so hard but the words just wouldn't come out. My dad cried on the floor, my mum put her arms around me, trying to shield me from what was to come. 

We were left for 20mins to be together. A doctor and Teres came into the room and explained that I would have to deliver Phoebe-Jo naturally, I barely listened I just wanted to be alone, I was so alone. 

I was told I had to take the induction tablet and that if I wanted to go home I could, but if nothing happened naturally within two days, I had an appointment booked for Tuesday to induce me again. I opted to go home. I couldnt lie in a hospital bed and go over everything in my mind when there was ladies down the hall delivering their beautiful healthy babies. I went to my aunts I just needed my family to be together. I needed them to be consoled, I couldn't bear to see them hurting so much. 

I returned to the hospital later at 17:30 and chose to stay in hospital as my contractions were bearable, but my back pain wasnt.

My Angel, Phoebe-Jo was born asleep on 10th October 2011 at 08:30am weiging 5lb12.5oz. Totally perfect. She took my breathe away.l

My family and I took her to a park, it was so peaceful. I got to spend 32 incredible hours with her. 32 hours i'll forever cherish, bathing and dressing her, holding her tight next to me, but most of all loving her more than I already did. 

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page and reading mine and Phoebe-Jo's story. 

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