Stephen Doran
Race 4 Jude - raise awareness of stillbirth & support for bereaved parents
Fundraising for Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity
Story
Our Story Our first baby was due on 31st October 2014. 3 days after his due date, whilst with a friend, my wife, Karen had some concerns about our baby and decided it was best to attend the hospital. I received a phone call from our friend, who asked me to come to the hospital. At this moment, we were unaware of any bad news.
Excitement and joy overtook me., I grabbed the overnight and baby's bags, which had been ready for several weeks. In the short 5 minute drive to the hospital, all I could think was, "This is it, I am going to be a Daddy!”
I raced into the hospital, struggling with the weight of the bags, as I reached the labour ward. I excitedly said my wife was here. After giving her name, I was led towards a room. I saw the faces of the nurses and doctor and immediately felt something was not right. As I entered the room, Karen had just been told the terrible news that there was has no heartbeat. I will never forget the feeling of total loss and heartbreak at that moment, as Karen and I held each other. We only had a scan 2 weeks previously, with nothing suggesting anything abnormal. Karen now had the knowledge that she still had to give birth to our baby, knowing that he would not be coming home with us.
Karen gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, Jude Joseph Doran, on the 4th November 2014. As I held my baby son for the first time, at that moment, I felt like the proudest father in the world. Despite us knowing that Jude will never open his eyes, never hold my finger with his chunky hands and never kick a football with his daddy, nothing can ever take that moment away from me.
Fundraising – awareness, charity & challenges I have spent the previous 2 years raising awareness for stillbirth. but what seems to be lacking (in Wales) is professional 1-2-1 (counselling) support for bereaved parents of stillborn babies. Whilst there is some support available (Sands offer telephone support, forums, bereavement groups and some hospitals do have bereavement midwives), there seems to be an overall lack of 1-2-1 counselling, especially for bereaved fathers. I received some counselling a year after Jude passed away (through an alternative source), which is something I really needed at the time. Just the ability to be able to speak to somebody totally removed from my situation helped immensely. However, I have been informed that this is sadly no longer available to bereaved parents of stillborn babies.
My goal is to continue to raise much needed awareness for stillbirth and raise funds, working with local groups in Sands (Cardiff & Newport initially), to try to help establish this 1-2-1 support. It should never be forgotten that any parent who loses a child through stillbirth IS a bereaved parent and needs and deserves support as any other bereaved parent.
If this support is not possible in the near future though, all money raised will go directly to SANDS in the hope of some alternative support.
I will be competing in the following events:
· 1st April - The Vale Of Glamorgan Coastal Ultra – 19.5 miles - done
· 2nd April - Cardiff Bay 10k run (the day after the 18.5 mile run!) - done
· 24th June – Mountain Marathon – Pen Y Fan - done, got lost, horrible wind, rain and poor visibility on mountain, ended up 5 miles the wrong direction, picked up from rescue team after ending up in a farm house with a lovely old couple having coffee and biscuits :) did 26.2 miles, that's what matters :(
· 9th July – Welsh Full Marathon - Tenby
My journey has also taken me through :
· 10k races X 4
· Half Marathon X 4
· Marathons X 4 (including London and Dublin)
· The Vale Of Glamorgan Coastal Ultra – 19.5 miles
· Mountain Marathon – Pen Y Fan 26.2 miles (uses part of the 'Fan Dance' which is a the infamous run taken on by potential members of British Special Forces as part of their selection process. This includes an ascent of Pen y Fan (2,907ft / 886m). I did get lost and ended up having coffee and biscuits in an old country hosue with a lovely old couple after midnight, until I was picked up by the mountain rescue team…….but did run 26.2 miles, (5miles in the wrong direction J)
· 164 mile walk from London to Llantrisant
Please share my page with your friends, family, colleagues. I know there are so many people who donate generously for a range of charities (and thank you to all those who have supported me in the past), every penny counts. In memory of our beautiful baby boy, Jude, please help me raise awareness of stillbirth and help support bereaved parents.
This will be my last charity race /fundraiser for some time. To date I have raised £16,000 for stillbirth awareness and associated charities. Please help me reach this final target for my son x
Thank you
Stephen & Karen
X X X X