In memory of our little Freddie, Dan and I are setting ourselves challenges to raise money for Baby Loss Awareness week which runs from the 9th-15th October. 

I will be walking 10,000 steps everyday in October and Dan will be running 100 miles in a month. We will also both be running a 5K together during baby loss awareness week with Freddie’s brothers, Louis and Seth cheering us on. 

We have chosen to donate to Tommys this year as they pioneered the Rainbow clinic at Wythenshawe hospital as part of the Manchester Research Centre where the team deliver world-class advances in pregnancy research to inform better clinical care, policy and practice.

The Rainbow team provided incredible support for us after Freddie was born sleeping and the clinic were able to support us during the terrifying journey of our pregnancy with Seth.

As around half of all Stillbirths are unexplained so much more research is needed. 

Freddie’s story

We were so relieved and happy when we found out we were pregnant with Freddie. We’d suffered a miscarriage earlier in the year which had opened our eyes to the difficulties that people go through after being slightly naive after previously having a relatively straight forward pregnancy with Louis. 

Freddie’s pregnancy was textbook with no complications. I was sent for additional scans in the final few weeks due to firstly an increase in fundal growth (bump height) but I’d previously carried Louis very forwards so wasn’t concerned but then I was sent for two further scans for reduced growth. The first showed a slight slow down in Freddie’s growth but the second showed an increase and were told he would be a big boy! 

At 39 weeks and 3 days I went into natural labour after having twinges for a few days. I’d felt Freddie moving as I’d lay in bed early in the morning and then carried on with my day until I was at a point that my contractions were too strong. We arrived at the maternity unit at 8pm and were taken straight through to be assessed as I was clearly in established labour. 

The midwife attempted to find Freddie’s heartbeat on two separate occasions. At this point I couldn’t look at Dan as the worst thought crossed my mind. I was moved to another bed with a scanner and a doctor sent in to scan me. After what felt like the longest time the dreaded words came out ‘I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat’. 

At 9.40pm Freddie was born sleeping weighing 6lb 8oz and absolutely perfect. 

The shock and confusion was horrific. Our whole lives had just changed forever in a way we could never have imagined. 

We were able to spend the next few days with Freddie with the support of the Rainbow Team to help create memories to take home with us. But no one should ever walk out of a maternity unit with a box rather than their baby. 

We didn’t get a definitive answer for what happened to Freddie but we think the placenta stopped working near the end which meant he wasn’t getting the oxygen and nutrients he needed which had started to restrict his growth. 

We now know that this should have been picked up on the final scan. As much as this hurts we don’t want to be angry for the rest of our lives. Instead we have been able to implement new processes in the hospital for patients sent for repeat growth scans and are trying to get this changed nationwide. 

We also want to raise awareness and money to help fund the research needed for the causes of stillbirths. 

If you would like to donate towards this research we would be forever grateful. 

Rebecca, Dan, Louis, Seth and our Angel Freddie xxx

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