Me and my husband Alex lost our beautiful twin girls Lottie and Lillie to twin to twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS) in June this year. When we found out we were having identical twins we were shocked, scared but more than anything over the moon and felt so incredibly lucky. We were told at 12 weeks that our girls shared an amniotic sack and a placenta, something which is very rare and had many complications and risks involved. Because the girls shared a sack they were at risk of getting tangled in each others cords and blood supply being cut off, so we were monitored very closely.  

The pregnancy had so many ups and downs, then at 21 weeks we went for our routine weekly scan and was told the devestating news that it appeared our girls had TTTS. We didn’t know much about the condition but the more we were told the more terrified we became that we’d lose one or both of our twins. We were rushed to Kings College Hospital in London for surgery that night. All seemed to be successful and the babies were doing well in the scan after the surgery. That’s when we were told that our smaller twin had only a 40% chance of survival and our bigger twin 70%. I can’t explain how devastated and scared we felt. 

2 days later I went to Jessops with reduced movements and was told the heartbreaking news that our smaller twin, Lottie had died as a result of the condition and surgery. The weeks following are a total blur. We were monitored very closely for our bigger twin Lillie, but 2 weeks later we lost her. I gave birth to them on 5th June 2019 - the most devastating day of our lives. I cannot explain how perfect they were, the tiniest most beautiful babies who looked so much like their brother and sister, Oliver and Rosie. The only consolation me and Alex have is that they will never experience any pain or sadness and that they will always be together and never separated. Leaving their tiny bodies at the hospital with an empty belly is something no parent should ever have to do - there are no words to describe it. 

TTTS is a condition that only affects identical twins (twins that share a placenta) and is the result of one twin taking more nutrients and blood from the placenta. Resulting in the smaller twin becoming anemic and the bigger twin receiving too much blood to the organs and heart. It is a rare condition, and we still believe our girls were just incredibly unlucky. 

We’re raising money for TAMBA (Twins and Multiple Births Association) who fund research into TTTS and also support so many families who have gone or are going through child bereavement. 

Thank you so much for reading and for supporting us. And thank you for helping to keep our angels memories alive.