Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving Page. Please see below Ryan’s story as told by his Mum and Dad, Debbie and Wayne.

Whilst I am running, my work colleagues at Whitehead Monckton Solicitors are also helping me by doing many events throughout this time like baking and eating cakes, dress down days. If you can think of anything fun for me to do please let me know, I will do anything for your money. 

Also, as I am a Utility Warehouse Partner every penny raised on this page will be matched by them. 

Please help us raise awareness about Mind and suicide prevention. 

Thanks for your support, I’ll keep you posted.

Paula

My son Ryan Cooley was born 25th of December 1994. He was a bright, happy, fun loving child always making people laugh and feel special, the type of soul that lit up a room with his smile.

We brought him up in what we believed was a happy safe environment and he appeared to be grounded, however, around the age of 17 he started acting out and he took to drinking and drugs (as many teenagers do) and eventually at the age of 19 he plucked up the courage to tell me and his dad that he had been violently and sexually abused from the age of 7 to 11 years old and had also been raped by his abuser. 

We were totally devastated and angry not just about what happened to our son but with ourselves as to how we could have allowed this to happen, how could we have missed the signs, but he calmly assured us that he never tried to tell us as a child and as parents we hadn't  missed anything or faltered him in anyway. 

Over the next 5 years we got him all the help that was available, supported him and loved him even though inside we went to some very dark places ourselves with the guilt and blame we felt because as parents it's your job to protect your children. 

During this time Ryan seem to flourish and turned into a handsome happy successful young man running his own business but on the inside he remained a depressed anxious scared and angry boy living in the darkness of his own tormented mind which led to psychotic episodes and he also had auditory and visual hallucinations of a manifestation of a man he called Sam who took over the continued torment of his abuser.

In March this year he went really downhill as soon as we need noticed we immediately booked him in for an urgent review and assessment with the mental health team which was due to have taken place on the Monday 18 March. On the Sunday night we stayed up with our beautiful boy talking to him trying to keep him calm and loving him and eventually it seemed that he had sufficiently calmed himself down and had fallen asleep so his dad and I went to bed. On the morning of 17 March 2019 when I went to call on him I found him dead in his bedroom, he had hung himself. 

A piece of us died with him on that day and we struggle every minute of every day that he is not with us but we don't want our sons life to have been in vain and in keeping with who he truly was and should have grown up to be, a bright fun loving person who helped others and made them feel special we are now on a mission to make sure that EVERYONE who needs help gets it and gets the right help and support and for people who have lost their children or loved one from suicide also have a point of contact so that they can just talk about their situation and then from there get the right help and support.

I am constantly posting awareness campaigns on Facebook and will soon be taking courses in Suicide Prevention,

Mental Health Awareness, Grief Counselling and heading a support group for people that have suffered Childhood Sexual Abuse.

 Debbie and Wayne