Story
Having proudly run the London Landmarks Half Marathon, on behalf of Our Time Children's Charity, and in memory of our Mum, I do it again for the Lake Windermere Marathon (my 1st Marathon) on the 21st May.
Our Time provides support to children and young people who have a parent or guardian with a mental illness. The support given during these most difficult times is simply priceless. KidsTime Workshops is a good example of their work. One of the basic building blocks when working with families is to offer them a safe place to talk about the parent’s mental illness and to help the whole family develop a more open attitude to discussing this illness - encouraging them to talk about it, helping them to understand it and most importantly helping children to develop coping strategies and tools to better support their parent(s).
So why am I running it, well I was 8 years old and my brothers were 7 and 3 when our late Mum had her first major nervous breakdown. In those days (the early 80s) mental health was still very much a hidden illness with little or no specialist support or broader understanding. Our Dad was wonderful as a primary carer, but the stigma of mental ill health was truly apparent for their generation so they did not always seek the necessary support or feel comfortable talking about it until it was too late. These serious setbacks, resulting in her being hospitalised, were the most difficult. Unfortunately, Mum would routinely deny that she was unwell for fear of spending extended time away from her boys (including Dad) and her illness became a lifelong rollercoaster which ultimately contributed to her decline.
As children, teenagers, and then young adults, my brothers and I lacked knowledge of mental health and how best to support our mother. We rarely discussed her illness with others and dealt with episodes as they arose. This was, at times, challenging because we never knew what the next hour or day might bring or what might trigger certain situations. Additionally, like many young lads, we were not always little angels outside the home, so would exacerbate the situation.
Sharing this small bit is very personal, and I have hesitated to do so as it still bubbles the emotions. However, choosing not to share harks back to the hidden stigma surrounding mental health.
Originally I wanted to try and run the London Marathon, but this charity is too small to offer such places and getting a ballot place is like hen's teeth. I've never run a marathon, but look forward to the challenge. The Lake Windermere Marathon is hilly, so it will be suitably challenging. I hope I haven't taken on more than I can handle, but at least the beautiful scenery will provide a pleasant distraction.
Apparently, there are over 4 million children in the UK having a parent with poor mental health. Probably not surprising, especially after COVID, so this charity helps raise this awareness, understanding and support. Like many charities, they rely heavily on donations, so any contribution you can make would be greatly appreciated.
If you've got this far then thank you for taking the time to read this and in advance for your generosity.
I highly recommend Joe Wicks: Facing My Childhood, on iPlayer, for insight into their work and childhood experiences that we can certainly relate to.