I was out running with Dom in March 2020, along the canal in London. After we stopped, we had a big hug, and he told me for the first time that he had attempted suicide.

 Around a year after that, he took his own life.

We ran the Thame 10k together a few times over the years, and while I won't have Dom by my side this year, I won't be breaking any personal records, if I can do my bit to promote awareness, and raise a few quid for a great cause, that would be brilliant.

Would also love to see some familiar faces!

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Dom was a shining light in so many ways, but one of his specialist skills was talking. He was really bloody great at talking. He could (and would) talk to almost anyone, anywhere, anytime. In the street, on the bus, at the pub, in the kebab house, you name it, he’d find someone to talk to. 

He was also great at talking about his mental health, and one of the most open people you’d ever meet when it came to sharing his personal battles with depression and anxiety. More importantly, he helped others to talk openly about their mental health. In Thame and London, and on Zoom during lockdown, he set up community groups to bring people together to talk.

‘We need to talk more about our mental health’ 

This is something which we hear a lot more these days. Which is great, because we absolutely do. However, talking won’t always save someone's life. People who are depressed, can talk about it, seek help, take the steps which society offers, and they may still decide to take their own life. The majority of suicides still come as a huge shock to those close to the deceased.

I can’t begin to imagine what it is like to lose someone so tragically, and then to be forever asking why, searching for clues and trying to put together the meaning of a life from the little that is left behind. I'm incredibly sad that Dom struggled so much throughout his life, but there is no real mystery to solve or truth to uncover. Dom suffered from depression, he asked for help, he spoke to friends and family, he did everything that society tells us to do, and it wasn't enough to keep his beautiful self on this spinning rock.

This is why talking is such an important first step. Encouraging people to talk, listening without prejudice or judgement, being there for friends, family and even strangers, will massively help those who are bereaved by suicide. Breaking the stigma around not just mental health, but; suicide, depression, loneliness, it is a huge leap forward for helping to 'normalize' these important conversations we need to have in society.

CALM don't want to normalize suicide, they want to prevent it. Not everyone is as open as Dom was, and it can be really difficult to open up to those close to you if you are struggling. The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is leading a movement against suicide. Every week 125 people in the UK take their own lives. And 75% of all UK suicides are male. Their team have dedicated people to talk to 365 days a year, and are a vital frontline service saving many many lives.