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I, like Orpheus, took several bold but foolish steps into Haedes. Not only am I subjecting myself to early mornings, blisters, lung busting training, sweat, tears - all at a time of year where being tucked into bed seems like the most basic of human rights - I have given up drinking for the duration of the training.

Fat Boy Log – 18.04.09 – From The Chubster Quadrant
Well, here we are just eight days before I face the ultimate test for my unfit middle aged frame, 26 miles 385 yards – or as someone much smarter than me pointed out just 76,000 steps (yep, that seems so much better).
Am I looking forward to it? In honesty, I am.
Am I nervous? Damn right I am!
So, 14 weeks for training with foot injury, 6 months of NO ALCOHOL and we are nearly there. I have had highs and I have had lows. I have hit the wall and I have had the wall fall on top of me. I have suffered blisters, nipple chaffing and chaffing in places no clean living man should ever suffer chaffing.

This week however, was my ultimate low. Yep, I’ve endured all those things all those training will do – including my iPod on its shuffle function confusing “motivating” with “kitsch”. But this week I as laid up with food poisoning/an allergic reaction/or a polonium - 210 attack from Westlife for all those harsh (but fair) things I have said about them. Having consumed from a Chinese Buffet (I will not write it here but will reveal the source to anyone who asks me directly) I awoke on Tuesday morning with the stomach upset from haedes but with Yuschenko’s face – honestly, I looked like an Albino feast bar! Three days completely laid up, no training and feeling really sorry for myself with only “Murder She Wrote” and “Diagnosis Murder” for company. I really hope it doesn’t affect my fitness…..if I do badly, of course it’ll will get the blame.

Eight more days, I started training again yesterday and I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you, in fact our whole family want to say a HUGE THANK YOU for all of your fantastic support. Already we have raised £4,390 for GreatOrmondStreetHospital – a truly munificent effort by all and we are all so so grateful. We are back in May for a follow up check up for Harvey’s heart and really hope that he won’t need a further operation. But thanks to generosity such as yours he is in the very best hands.

I also ought to apologise to all those (Dave, Mike, Robin, Barker, Sums to name but a few) who have lost a drinking buddy (and gained a humourless teetotaller).

So, my final musical anthology……what subject matter should I pick….well, despite some of quite outrageous comments I have had from some quarters about some of my selections, I think it only fair to set out my guilty pleasures (guilty pleasures explained) here are my most embarrassing running favourites (it is impossible to put these in any kind of order):

1. I don’t like Cricket – 10CC

2. . Everlasting Love – Carl Carlton

3. Born Free – Matt Munro

4. Rhythm’s Gonna Get Ya – The Miami Sound Machine

5. Word Up – Cameo

6. Light in Her Eyes – Todd Rundgren

7. Fool if you Think it’s over – Chris Rea

8. Breakout – Swing out Sister

9. I’m into Something Good – Herman’s Hermits

10. Funky Town – Lipps Inc

There you are, laid bare………I have NO credibility left.

Keep track, leave abuse or sponsor me on: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun

Fat Boy Log 07.04.09 – from the Bloater Quadrant

Dear All

Eleven gruelling weeks down, three left to go. Last weekend I had to do a twenty miler (the longest run of the training plan). The only problem is that at the weekends, Saturday’s are generally footie days with the boys, following which we do boys stuff involving bikes, parks, et al. Sunday last weekend we had friends over for lunch and I had promised to cook porco a noite – a Portuguese/Madeiran Belly Pork dish that requires at least seven hours cooking.

So, in the end I did what any sensible person would with such a weekend logjam… I got up at 4,30am on Saturday and ran then – the fully twenty miles. How beautiful it was, how close to nature was I – as the sun came up my eyes burning with sweat – the whole world was aglow. 20 – 20 vision must be a hazy halcyon image. Anyway, I completed it – this time avoiding hitting the wall that I so unceremoniously crashed into during my 18 miler, got my dear old dad to drive me home, 15 minute turnaround and off to Little Kickers FC with son number 2!

So, the training continues – I now run shorter distances and I have survived 20 miles. Eleven weeks have gone , I have gone from being a completely unfit fat boy who could barely get my trainers on to being a much fitter but still admittedly portly fellow who winces when I try and drag my trainers over my blisters. I have avoided lycra, I have avoid snow in Leicester and Duck Poo in Manchester. I have avoided the urge to running head first into packs of behooded teenagers slouching across entire pathways, or hurdling pensioners who try their very best to spread themselves across the pavement.

But most of all, I have avoided the temptation of a cheeky beer and the temptation of giving up. GOSH is such an amazing place and Harvey received such wonderful support that in those darkest lung bursting, leg ceasing or head swerving moments – doing it for charity (mate) has kept me going.

Anyway, having run for around 3 ½ hours on Saturday – here is my ultimate top ten running songs……

Gettin’ Jiggy with it (Will Smith)
You can’t always get what you want (Rolling Stones)
Loco (Fun Lovin’ Criminals)
You’re my first, my last, my everything (Barry White)
Everybody Loves Somebody (Ray Gelato)
Forever in Blue Jeans (Neil Diamond)
Parchman Farm (Mose Allison)
Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
I will survive (Cake)
Ghostbusters (Ray Parker Jr)

So far, thanks to all of your kind support we have £3,980 pledged to

Great Ormond Street

– which is amazing, and we thank all of you for such generous support. There is still a little time to pledge.So to track progress, pledge support or leave some abuse please visit: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun– which is amazing, and we thank all of you for such generous support. There is still a little time to pledge.So to track progress, pledge support or leave some abuse please visit: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun– which is amazing, and we thank all of you for such generous support. There is still a little time to pledge.So to track progress, pledge support or leave some abuse please visit: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun– which is amazing, and we thank all of you for such generous support. There is still a little time to pledge.So to track progress, pledge support or leave some abuse please visit: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun– which is amazing, and we thank all of you for such generous support. There is still a little time to pledge.So to track progress, pledge support or leave some abuse please visit: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun

FAT BOY LOG 31.03.09 – FROM THE LARDY QUADRANT.

Dear Friends…..

Well, we are now 10 and a bit weeks in, less than 4 weeks until D-Day (or should I call it P-Day (P for Pain)) and I am really piling on the miles (as opposed to my former hobby of piling on the pounds). This weekend in this big one, a 20 mile training run….lord help me. I’ve got up to around 50-60 miles a week, and so far no need for a tyre change! I have decided to use a medium compound for the race…..and hope it doesn’t rain too much.

I have developed a massive aversion to crowds. The thought of bumping into stroppy teenagers, pavement hogging OAPs, rucksack totting unwashed students, or shopping bag laden WAGS just leaves me cold. They all hog the blooming pavement and then tut with venom, disgust (and in some cases not an inconsiderable amount of spittle) as I eventually get past. This means that I have to get up at stupid o’clock, before sunrise to avoid such encounters.

I am still yet to have a drink, come marathon day – that’ll be six months. Can you believe it? Financial results from Majestic have taken a Herculean dip – and Bromley are unable to keep up with the forecasted glass recycling quotas. As improved as I feel, and now taking an oath not to drink beer again (2 ½ stones lost can’t lie), wine remains an utter temptation. As Benjamin Frankling once said “Wine is proof everyday that god loves us, and loves us very much indeed”….how true.

Anyway, in keeping with the “distance” theme, here is a musical anthology of groups/artists with distance relevant names…..all others welcome……

MILES Davis
STRETCH Williams
TIGHT FIT (ok that is cheating)
60 FOOT Dolls
Nine INCH Nails
The YARDbirds
Michael FURLONG
(If I were also to allow myself volumes then) 10 CC

Good luck if you can think of any more…….

Thank you to all who have supported me…..a massive £3,810 raised for Great Ormond Street already…..as you know this year’s appeal is for a new cardio unit, so (if you’ll forgive then pun) is particularly close to heart…….to support me, track progress, leave abuse please visit http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun

Roger Wilko, ok.

FAT BOY’S LOG – STARDATE 19.3.09

What a week. Sunday, I drag my sorry, flabby, arse around 18 miles hitting the wall, falling backwards into the road and then the wall toppling on top of me……ouch. Joking aside, on top of my painful heel spur, I managed to crook my neck and have spent most of this week like a sufferer of Dropsy! It hasn’t stopped me running, albeit I am know running like a fatter, male Paula Radcliffe (how does she run so fast with that flopping neck). Training all ok, save for my aches and pains – but the early mornings are killing me. As the only time I get to train is first thing, I have to haul myself from my cosseting crib at 5.30am. Tomorrow however – I am seeing the great Steve Billot presenting atCanaryWharfat 8.30am, so Mike Payne has helpfully arranged that we meet at Victoria at 7.10am. So, basically, with all the work I have to do tonight – I shan’t be going to bed……cheers for that Mike!

The good (important) bit is that all of you continue to contribute so generously to Great Ormond Street. This years appeal has particular resonance, as they are raising £50m for a new cardiology centre. Keep up with all developments at: http://www.justgiving.com/runfatb0yrun

Some tell me that running can bring us to a state of Zen……instead, I am just in pain. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about a medical musical anthology….suggestions from you guys always welcome (yes, I did forget Fat Boy Slim last week – and George Michael).

The Witch Doctor – Alvin and the Chipmunks (a modern classic)
My Iron Lung – RadioHead
Stayin’ Alive – The Bee Gees (not easy in such tight trousers)
The Drugs Don’t Work - The Verve
Doctor Doctor – The Thompson Twins (all three of ‘em)
Doctor Doctor – Iron Maiden
The Nurse Song – William Blake (ok, it’s not really a song but I am struggling)
Club Foot – Kasabia
Hospital Song – Ben Folds Five
The Healer – John Lee Hooker

OK – let’s put our best foot forward…..if I even have one.

As all of you know, our family was blessed this year when Great Ormond Street Hospital took our son, Harvey, into their care. It has been the scariest thing we have ever been through and the dedication, love and professionalism of GOSH and its staff got us through!

This years appeal has particular resonance, as they are raising £50m for a new cardiology centre. Keep up with all developments at:

Harvey underwent major open heart surgery - and without GOSH, we dread to think of what might have been.

This is my small gesture to thank them and to ensure others get the care Harvey was blessed to have received.

Great Ormond Street Hospital Children's Charity (GOSHCC) gets your money faster and, if you’re a UK taxpayer, Justgiving makes sure 25% in Gift Aid, plus a 3% supplement, are added to your donation.

So please sponsor me now!

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