This summer I cycled across the French and Italian Alps, in memory (just like every day) of my amazing, world-embracing daughter Poppy, and raising funds for the charity Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse (AAFDA), who have been of enormous help to Julie, Zeb and myself since Poppy’s death and continue to provide a forum for support for too many other families in our position. Poppy should have been celebrating her 28th birthday in September, but at the age of 24 she was viciously murdered ('overkill' is the term used) in her own home by her recently ex-boyfriend, leaving us broken and filled with a loud (often screaming), empty space. The strength that I have now comes from Poppy and the love that she continues to give to the world, and from the love and support of the family and friends who form my ever-growing InvisiblePeloton,* accompanying me wherever I go.

Starting on 21st August, I tackled two back-to-back events of the renowned amateur Haute Route cycling series, ‘the highest and toughest cyclosportives in the world’. This involved cycling over 1,250 kilometres through the French Alps and then the Italian Dolomites (with a handy two days off in the middle): departing from Nice and taking in 12 timed stages over 14 days, with over 36,000 metres of climbing in total (the equivalent of four ascents of Everest!), going up and over 30 mountain summits or cols, including the fabulous Passo Stelvio at 2,758 metres above sea level, until reaching Cortina d’Ampezzo on 3rd September. My preparations were somewhat hampered by being knocked off my bike on Christmas Eve and having two operations on my right arm (elbow and shoulder) in January; but I managed to cycle 800 km across Portugal in May, cobbled villages and all (ouch), two weeks after getting back on my bike outdoors; and luckily, as those who have cycled with me will testify, my legs are made of a unique alien super-material. And now I will find another hill to climb.

We love you and we miss you, Poppy darling. I wear your name and call out to you from every summit – and a million points in between. Four minus one forever equals four.

AAFDA will be grateful for any donation that you are able to make to help them with their invaluable work. AAFDA is an independent and unique organization that assists those left behind after fatal domestic abuse, helping families who have had a loved one ripped away from their lives to get victims’ voices heard, and providing specialist and expert advocacy and peer support. The tireless Frank Mullane MBE and his brilliant team also offer training, guidance and advice to professionals involved in cases of domestic abuse, and work to increase community awareness of domestic abuse and risk factors. Pops was just one of 149 women killed by men in 2018, around 80% of whom were victims of Domestic Homicide (femicide census Annual Report - the government does not collect these statistics). For more information on the vital work that AAFDA do, please go to: https://aafda.org.uk

Please share this widely.

Take care. With love,

 Rupert

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*My InvisiblePeloton:

In the years, months, weeks, days, minutes and seconds since Poppy was murdered, you - my family, my friends, her friends, friends of friends, people I have never met - have all given and offered me so much support, sent me so much love. So much, that I had not known what to do with it. 

But when I was in Leeds in December 2019, I went to a talk by an endurance cyclist, who said that one of the things that got her through the endless days alone on her bike was her ‘invisible peloton’, which she created around herself from all her family, friends, supporters and social-media followers, and which cocooned her and gave her great strength. 

So I have unilaterally signed you all up - together, as one - to form my own, lifelong Invisible Peloton (and no, there is no ‘unsubscribe’ button). Sometimes just in front or beside me, sometimes behind me, other times leaving me alone when I need to be on my own. Unseen, but always there. And I can imagine Poppy is in amongst you too, just quietly keeping you together, encouraging you, making sure everyone is in the right place, as ever.

Nothing can fill the Poppy space in my life that was torn away from me, but with my IP around me perhaps I can have the power to pedal on through the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years that stretch ahead.

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Photos of my rides can be found on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/rbwaterhouse

An article by Emma Elgee on my ride, AAFDA and the inadequate 'life' sentences handed to the perpetrators of domestic homicides was recently posted on the BBC website: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-62665583