In December 2016 My Mum received the news that she had metastatic breast cancer; It wasn't curable, but it was treatable. She was given 5 years, but would need aggressive treatment to control the cancer.

My Sister Sheena was with her when she received the news, and from that point on remained at her side for every appointment.

15 months into Mum's treatment, Sheena passed suddenly in her sleep. She was 37 years old with a family of her own and her whole life ahead of her. 

On the day we received the news, my brother Shaun travelled from our home town in Hartlepool to be with us all in Dewsbury – it was a difficult time as shock set in, but we rallied round to try and support Mum. When Shaun arrived he was unwell and seemed to be suffering from a chest infection, but he brushed it off as a cold and focused his time on supporting Mum and the rest of us.

It was during the early hours of March 7th 2018, after spending the previous day with Mum, that Shaun became seriously unwell and collapsed in her arms. He was rushed to Pinderfields Hospital where he was quickly diagnosed with Sepsis, a complication of Pneumonia, and was moved to intensive care.

Shaun spent the next 2 weeks fighting for his life, but due to the extensive and irreparable damage to his internal organs, doctors decided that the only option left was to withdraw life support. On the evening of March 20th – 1 day after we had buried Sheena - his life support machine was switched off. He fought through the night, but passed away peacefully in the early hours of March 21st.

It was at this point that Mum, tired of fighting and broken by the loss of 2 children, decided she couldn’t fight any longer. She refused all further treatment and settled for enjoying the last of her time with her family, making clear that she wanted to spend her final days at home. It was during those last few weeks that Kirkwood Hospice were able to grant her final wishes; making her comfortable and allowing her the dignity she so rightly deserved.

She gave us 11 months, never complaining through her grief or pain, before passing away peacefully on February 25th 2019.

When I look back at the 13 months it took to destroy my family, it’s like listening to someone else talk about it – I still can’t quite believe it.

I struggle with guilt; did I fail Sheena? Did I forget about her when Shaun went into hospital? Did I spend enough time with Shaun? Why didn’t I press Mum to continue with her treatment? Did I tell her I loved her enough in those final few days? The list goes on.

I am getting there day by day, but have decided to raise money for Kirkwood Hospice to give them something back.

On April 4 I will be running 90 miles from Hartlepool to Dewsbury in honour of the last journey taken by Shaun. It will take as long as it takes, but I know the 3 of them will be at my side.

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