My poor old Dad suddenly passed-away in July due to the awful impact that Covid is having on residents living in care homes.  

Two year’s ago, as Dad’s dementia progressed to a level where we just couldn’t look after him at home, he moved into a care home in Farnham.  He was ticking along nicely with his routine where either my Mum, me, or our lovely friend Sharon, would visit him every day - we used to take him out for walks/coffee/visit places/feed the ducks in the park/do puzzles etc and this was his daily routine throughout his time there.  It meant he was able to lead a reasonably happy life - until Covid hit and restrictions were enforced.

These blanket restrictions meant that we couldn’t visit Dad and his life turned upside down.  He couldn’t understand why we weren’t visiting him and why he couldn’t go out (his window looked out onto a path where he saw everyone doing their daily exercise).  He was incredibly confused and anxious and this made his dementia worse, which led to him escaping from the home several times.  Each time, the police were involved and I know this scared Dad and I think he felt he was being held prisoner, so he started to become aggressive.  It was horrendous.  We did everything we could to help him and make his feel more settled, but the home asked him to be moved.  Moving someone with dementia and changing their routine is very hard, especially when you are moving them to somewhere that you can only hope is right for them, because you have not been allowed to visit properly due to Covid.

I won’t detail all the things that happened after this, but Dad ended up in hospital because his mental and physical health had deteriorated so much.  Although the home had tried to help as best they could (by letting us visit with the 2-metre rule), it was too late, the damage was done.  He was refusing to eat, he wouldn’t get out of bed and he become verbally threatening and very withdrawn.

Whilst in hospital, I was allowed to be with Dad every day and I think this gave him some comfort because he trusted me.  However, once he was moved to his new home, we were only allowed to visit once a week.  The immense changes and lack of input from us was just too much and it all took it’s toll on Dad.  After 12 days in this new home, Dad suddenly died.

I know that the stress of all this change, the lack of family contact, the reduction of input and stimulation from us caused his death.  There has to be a more compassionate way of coping with Covid in care homes - particularly for those with dementia/Alzheimer’s.  It is too late for my Dad and I will never fully accept what has happened, but we must help to make changes for those who are suffering now from the impact of bloody Covid.  

I want to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Society because they are actively campaigning for change and are offering support to those being affected...please help me to help them.  

Thank you for reading and for your support,  Tanya xxx