ThirtyFree2019
Rory Kidger is raising money for Mind in Kingston
Story
I’ll never forget the moment at 11 years old, my life changed forever when I found out my mum had taken her own life. Nor the moment, 20 years later, when the hospital told my sister and I, that our dad had cirrhosis induced liver cancer and it was terminal...
My mother, Jenny, a former nursery teacher, baker of the best cakes and loving mum battled with alcoholism and severe depression for many years before she tragically committed suicide, aged 45. It was 1997 and I had just started secondary school. I was 11, my brother was 14 and my sister 16. The following months were a blur, but our dad, Karl, looked after us. Once an SAS soldier, he did a pretty good job bringing us up. But some years later, the incomprehensible happened and he too regressed from being a heavy social drinker into being alcohol dependent. He eventually managed to kick the habit, but became depressed, eventually losing the will to live and completely neglecting his physical health. He passed away from liver cancer in 2016.
Both of my parents died a lot younger than they should have due to mental health issues and alcohol abuse. Until quite recently I didn’t like to talk about it. In all honesty I found it all quite embarrassing. Equally I didn’t want to go through my life on what I thought would be a sympathy vote. So, I kept quiet.
However, I’ve decided to start to share some of my experiences and to make a related lifestyle change in 2019. I’m doing this for many reasons, not least that I hope to raise some money for “Mind in Kingston”, a local charity (independent from national Mind) that supports people with mental health issues in and around Kingston upon Thames, of which I have recently become a Trustee and Director. Its mission is to advance the needs, views and ambitions of people with mental health issues, to promote inclusion, to challenge stigma and discrimination, to develop quality services that reflect local need and to influence local policy, in an area very close to where I grew up. And I want to help others experiencing the tragic side of alcohol and mental health related illness, possibly even helping people like my Mum and Dad.
While I don’t believe that drinking alcohol causes mental health problems, it’s far more complicated than that, the two are often inextricably linked and that was certainly the case for my parents. Fortunately, I wouldn’t describe myself as alcohol dependent, but as with lots of people my age, drinking tends to be an integral part of socialising, whether it’s catching up with friends, weddings, stag dos (4 next year!!), birthdays, Christmas, brunches, after-work drinks, networking, live music events, watching sport... You get the point. Therefore, I have challenged myself to give up alcohol for 2019. I will be 33 and booze free! (#thirtyfree2019)
This is where you come in. I’m asking for your support in 2019. Your support in several different ways. Yes, helping me to raise much needed funds for ‘Mind in Kingston’ but also to treat the year just like any other, but with one difference – I won’t be drinking. I will still be there at the weddings, birthdays and parties but I just won’t be drinking. That’s it! No judgements and no requests for anyone else to join me in this quest, but just to offer whatever support you can as the year progresses.
I’ll be documenting my experiences throughout the year and exploring whether going dry really is dry. I also pledge to donate a percentage of the money saved each month, from not boozing to my fundraising effort. However, if you’re like me and grow tired of repetitive posts and pictures about a particular event or subject, then please feel free to unfollow/delete/mute me from your social media. Otherwise you can keep up with how I get on across what I hope will be a fun year on Instagram @thirtyfree_2019 or using the hashtag #ThirtyFree2019
If you would like to get involved or have any questions, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I really appreciate your support and look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you
Rory
My mother, Jenny, a former nursery teacher, baker of the best cakes and loving mum battled with alcoholism and severe depression for many years before she tragically committed suicide, aged 45. It was 1997 and I had just started secondary school. I was 11, my brother was 14 and my sister 16. The following months were a blur, but our dad, Karl, looked after us. Once an SAS soldier, he did a pretty good job bringing us up. But some years later, the incomprehensible happened and he too regressed from being a heavy social drinker into being alcohol dependent. He eventually managed to kick the habit, but became depressed, eventually losing the will to live and completely neglecting his physical health. He passed away from liver cancer in 2016.
Both of my parents died a lot younger than they should have due to mental health issues and alcohol abuse. Until quite recently I didn’t like to talk about it. In all honesty I found it all quite embarrassing. Equally I didn’t want to go through my life on what I thought would be a sympathy vote. So, I kept quiet.
However, I’ve decided to start to share some of my experiences and to make a related lifestyle change in 2019. I’m doing this for many reasons, not least that I hope to raise some money for “Mind in Kingston”, a local charity (independent from national Mind) that supports people with mental health issues in and around Kingston upon Thames, of which I have recently become a Trustee and Director. Its mission is to advance the needs, views and ambitions of people with mental health issues, to promote inclusion, to challenge stigma and discrimination, to develop quality services that reflect local need and to influence local policy, in an area very close to where I grew up. And I want to help others experiencing the tragic side of alcohol and mental health related illness, possibly even helping people like my Mum and Dad.
While I don’t believe that drinking alcohol causes mental health problems, it’s far more complicated than that, the two are often inextricably linked and that was certainly the case for my parents. Fortunately, I wouldn’t describe myself as alcohol dependent, but as with lots of people my age, drinking tends to be an integral part of socialising, whether it’s catching up with friends, weddings, stag dos (4 next year!!), birthdays, Christmas, brunches, after-work drinks, networking, live music events, watching sport... You get the point. Therefore, I have challenged myself to give up alcohol for 2019. I will be 33 and booze free! (#thirtyfree2019)
This is where you come in. I’m asking for your support in 2019. Your support in several different ways. Yes, helping me to raise much needed funds for ‘Mind in Kingston’ but also to treat the year just like any other, but with one difference – I won’t be drinking. I will still be there at the weddings, birthdays and parties but I just won’t be drinking. That’s it! No judgements and no requests for anyone else to join me in this quest, but just to offer whatever support you can as the year progresses.
I’ll be documenting my experiences throughout the year and exploring whether going dry really is dry. I also pledge to donate a percentage of the money saved each month, from not boozing to my fundraising effort. However, if you’re like me and grow tired of repetitive posts and pictures about a particular event or subject, then please feel free to unfollow/delete/mute me from your social media. Otherwise you can keep up with how I get on across what I hope will be a fun year on Instagram @thirtyfree_2019 or using the hashtag #ThirtyFree2019
If you would like to get involved or have any questions, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I really appreciate your support and look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you
Rory