My name is Kelly and I am a mum on a mission,  I became a mum for the first time in September 2005 when I was blessed with my twin boys 'Louis and Corey' they were born prematurely at 25wks on the 4th and 5th of September. They were so fragile and so very premature their tiny bodies were about to take on the fight of their lives.

Louis passed away on 5th September weighing 1lb 12oz and we had to make the decision to remove him from his ventilator and this was the hardest decision in my entire life, your mothering instinct is telling you to fight on no matter what, but your heart is saying be kind and let him ‘fly’ as it was only a matter of time before the inevitable was to happen, but knowing that did not make the decision any easier because where there is life there is always ‘hope’…

Corey passed away on 7 September following his brother to ‘The Playground In The Sky’.  He gave the bravest fight; but at 1lb 7oz and 25wks he was too frail and too poorly to fight anymore. Our lives were in total devastation, what you always deem will be the happiest occasion of your lives ended up being one of the most bittersweet memories I will hold.

We went on to have 3 successful pregnancies which have resulted in our eldest daughter Lilly-Ella, and our son Toby. We were trying for a 3 child when we had a miscarriage and this was another truly awful experience for us but we never lost hope, as our faith in human nature had been restored slightly through our living children, they brought us so much happiness so we tried again and almost immediately fell pregnant, and we now have our youngest daughter Isla too.

A pretty perfect family on the forefront but behind that forefront is a whole lot of baggage which was about to get bigger.  The drive behind me telling my story is spurred on by our most recent loss.

Our son Elliot was born sleeping on 6/12/12 weighing 8lb 3oz at 38weeks and never in a million years would I ever of imagined after experiencing such losses already that we would loose another child in such a devastating way. How can you prepare yourself for such tragedy?

I noticed Elliot’s movement had gone from almost constantly wiggling around and moving to nothing, I instinctively knew something was wrong, deep at the back of my head I knew that when I got to the hospital they would tell me the worst news. I went to the hospital 05/12/12 to have the devastating news confirmed that our precious baby Elliot had died. Our world fell apart instantly, a thousand questions running through our heads and sheer despair of what would follow..

So as you can see my journey to motherhood to have the family I yearn for has not been an easy one, its stained with tears and the scars of my broken heart will never be healed, loosing Louis, Corey and then Elliot has changed me as a person, I may be stronger in some ways but inside there will always be a darkness and hole that cannot be fixed.  I adore my children, we love them with every part of our souls and they were never born as a replacement for the children I have lost, the were conceived and born out of love and the desire to have a family of our own.

So it is here I make my final plea and ask you please to dig deep and donate today because I hope that through our losses and through people reading my story I hope to help make someone else’s experience with Stillbirth or Neonatal Death an easier one.

My aim is to initially purchase two ‘Cold Cots’ for the Luton and Dunstable Hospital Maternity Unit. Dealing with the death of a baby is an incredibly difficult time for parents and many bereaved parents wish to spend some time with their baby. The CuddleCot is used to cool deceased and neonatals allowing the family time to spend time with the baby whilst the baby is kept cool. It simply turns any moses basket, crib, pram etc into a cold cot. It is internationally recognised that parents should be provided with the choice to spend time with their deceased baby and International Position Statements/guidance highlight this. The benefits of using the Flexmort CuddleCot system are widely accepted by bereavement practitioners across the globe and the system is in widespread use across numerous maternity departments and children's hospices. 

 

So today I start my campaign in memory of my 3 little stars, Louis, Corey, and Elliot Harris in hope to raise a total £3,500.00 for 2 cold cots and 2 Moses baskets and bedding sets which will be used at the Luton and Dunstable’s Someries Suite and Maternity Unit.

 

Help me, to help make a difference…. Please donate today and Ill keep you updated on how things are proceeding, thank you for taking the time to read my plea, and thank you for donating please pass on the good word and together you could help me help other parents and their grieving process an easier one.