Story
On 22nd June 2022, our dad passed away from a high-grade Brainstem Glioma 8 weeks after he was diagnosed. He was the centre of our family and a wonderful, kind, caring, loving dad. He was the most selfless person, and the biggest family man who always prioritised his children and grandchildren. He was fit, healthy, and usually running around doing something. He was a big presence in the town he lived, Andover, as he ran his own local business, and you couldn’t go anywhere with him without being recognised. He was incredibly sarcastic and naturally funny (though we would never tell him that!). He was always the centre of the party, and he loved making people laugh. He was the most grateful, humble and down to earth man. He raised us to love hard, to be kind above anything else, and to see the sun in every cloudy sky. In his words, he would be ‘buzzing’ at pretty much everything. Despite what life threw at him, he would wake with a smile on his face and a determination to have fun. He was the best of all of us.
We miss him desperately and he has left the biggest hole in our lives. I know he would really hate how sad we are, so we want to try and use this to do something productive. On 6th May 2023 all five of us (Abbie, Beth, Lex, Sam and Naomi) will be doing a Tough Mudder to raise money for Brain Tumour Research who works tirelessly to fund research into brain tumours, including Brainstem Gliomas.
He was a very proud man so it wouldn’t be right explaining what this cruel disease did to him. But his story needs to be heard to understand the full extent of why we are raising money for Brain Tumour Research. In March 2022, he started to experience his first symptoms. The doctors insisted it wasn’t something to worry about, and from lack of experience suggested he might have Multiple Sclerosis. The bloods came back okay, and he was cleared of cancer. But, as symptoms worsened, and as we persisted with specialists, it turned out not to be the case.
On April 26th, dad was diagnosed with a high-grade Brainstem Glioma. We were told it was inoperable, and fatal. He was given a maximum of 6 months to live. He lived another 8 weeks before he died on 22nd June. He was only 58 years old.
It was the most unfathomable and excruciating experience to watch our dad deteriorate. Those 8 weeks were precious, and we spent them together as a family trying to make the most of dad’s final days. To be honest, we didn’t think it would ever really happen, until it did. He left this world surrounded by us all and we feel ‘lucky’ that we got to say goodbye. But this horrific disease ripped through our lives and eventually took our dad’s. From the point of diagnosis, we were told there was absolutely nothing the doctors could do. He was passed from specialist to specialist who each took their time to review and agree the same thing. They couldn't even confirm what it was at this point and went on best guesses since they couldn't conduct a biopsy due to the tumour's location. They discharged him pretty much immediately and directed him towards at-home palliative care.
As you can imagine, the distress of being told there’s nothing we could do will stay with us forever.
From our experience of desperately trying to find options available to dad, but being told there was none, has driven us to understand the importance of funding specialist research. Research into brain tumours is critical but hugely under-resourced, with only 1% of cancer research spend going towards brain tumours specifically. We are proud to be supporting such an impactful charity who make a difference to people’s lives after diagnosis.
We will be cheered on by friends and family on the side-lines, but we would really appreciate your support in donating to this important cause.
Most importantly, we know dad would be in hysterics at the sight of us attempting to do this given none of us are the most athletic to say the least… (aside from Sam who will probably have to carry us over the end, but that’s what you get for having four sisters).
Everything is always for you, dad. We miss and love you so much.
With love from his children,
Abbie, Beth, Lex, Sam and Naomi x
… and his grandchildren who miss their grandad very much
Isla, Teddy, Henry and Autumn x