Last year, for my thirtieth birthday, I was promised a Yeti.
Jonathan took me up into the Himalayas to the foot of the mighty Everest in search of the elusive Abominable Snowman, but our search was in vain. Despite finding several traces of yeti poo (cunningly disguised as yak poo), obvious yeti tracks (he’d stolen some large hiking boots) and admiring a yeti scalp at Khumjung, we weren’t able to actually find the Yeti. So, given mine and Jonathan’s expert tracking skills coupled with our extensive knowledge of the animal (we read the whole Wikipedia page), I can only ascertain that the sneaky bugger has moved.
Therefore, for my next expedition I shall be scouring Mount Kilimanjaro for my Yeti. Obviously, one can’t just jet off on a whim to such places, so I’ve decided to travel under the guise of raising money for my cousin’s charity – Alice’s Escapes. I now need to raise £5000 to fund my mission. This is where you come in! Please help me to deliver my lifetime ambition of being the first lady to ever face the Yeti and sponsor me the very most you can afford right here. Incidentally, you’ll also be helping to raise lots of money for Alice’s Escapes (Registered Charity Number 1146011 www.AlicesEscapes.co.uk) which is a fantastic charity who provide much needed breaks to some seriously poorly children and their families.
For clarification, the Yeti will not be harmed. I’m going to take him to my house and use him to dust the high places I can’t reach. He’s furry and tall, see.