Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Many of you may know my story from the video I uploaded on Facebook. For those who don't, here is a bit more information on why I want to raise money for Mental Health UK.

For over 15 years I have struggled with depression and anxiety which almost took my life a few weeks ago. 

I suffered a traumatic time in my childhood which I never received the help or support that I should have been given. Due to this my teenage and now adult years have been plagued with my memories. It has affected my friendships and also my relationships.

Some days I struggle to leave the house.

A few weeks ago, I was really struggling, I reached out to my friends and family for advice and support. They couldn't help me but advised me to see my doctor. I did this. As it was an emergency I was given an appointment with a doctor who didn't know my background, although she listened when I said I felt suicidal, I was not given as much support as I needed but just the advise to go home and wait for the crisis team to come round. I struggled to see how this could help me and didn't see a way out of feeling like this. I didn't want to keep feeling the pain anymore and felt it would be easier for everyone for me to be gone.

I decided I would walk to the train station to end my life. On the way there I crossed a bridge that overlooked a very busy road. At the time, the only thing I was thinking was why walk all the way to the train station when I could end it here. Luckily, a couple and a woman (Kelly) noticed me and saw my pain, Kelly spoke to me and helped me see a different perspective. whilst she was talking to me, the couple called the police and they arrived very quickly. They managed to calm me down and take me in an ambulance to the Psychiatric ward in Hertfordshire.

Here, after waiting for over half an hour in the grounds, I was placed in a dirty room filled with ants without the basic amenities. I was treated less than human and made to feel like a criminal. The nurses were not only rude in the way they approached me but also rude to the police officers who were waiting with me.

I was placed in a mans unit where they were peering in at me constantly and screaming. Only one nurse helped me and made sure they stayed away. I was terrified.

I feel more awareness needs to be raised on not just mental health but also on how the process seems to be when someone is in the position I was. 

I feel that it is time for change, people who are struggling with their mental health need to be shown that life is worth living especially by the mental health team who are there for this exact reason.

Since being allowed to go home, I have spoken to many people who have had very similar experiences as I have. I now know that I am not alone and want to help as many people as I can.  

Please, if you can, donate to this worthy cause and help me make a change and please keep sharing.

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