In 2007 i found out that i was pregant with my second child we were all so excited. Everything was going well. Until one monday early morning i was having really bad pains i hadnt felt well the previous day but thought nothing of it. Then i thought it was weird. My waters broke that early morning and i got rushed into hosital by my dula(nurse) that was helping me through my pregnancy. We arrived at the hospital and got straight into a room in high wycombe. They got me settled into my room then got a heart monitor and started looking for a heart beat. It started off with a nurse.But then she didnt say anything and said that she would be back in a moment. Next thing i no in comes a doctors and does exactly the same thing. The went off and came back in with a sonigram. Something was wrong but i did not no wot. The doctor then turned to me and my dula and said "Im so sorry i can not find a heart beat" At that moment  i completely shut off not really there. They drugged me up as much as they could it was so hard and heart breaking.

I gave birth on the 8th april 2008 and spent the night with my baby not really wanting to let go we had cudddles and gave him a teddy. The hospital took photos and we took photos and we now have a memory box of him.

I got signed off work we severe depression i didnt go out for a long time. I blamed myself. I also used to think how everyone else was carrying on after this sad news as i was devastated.

So every year i lay the same flowers of which i brought the day of his funeral and we celebrate it like a normal birthday.

 

This year he would have been 5 years old and people used to say you get over it. I can tell you now that you dont. I cry everytime at his side.

 

Also this year my best mate was pregnant it was so exciting until one saturday afternoon.Fiona rang me wen i saw her calling i thought shes had her baby little did i o the news of wot she would say. I was heading to my friends house just about to get in the car from kfc. I answered and there her voice was not in excitement i heard the words "karen i know u have been through this but i dont no wot to do " thats wen i knew . She told me wot happened and explained she had died but still had to give birth like i did. I didnt no wot to say or any advice to give her wot could i say to her that would comfort her . Bu nothing. I just sed to her that nothing i could say would make her feel better no words that i could say would comfort her. She cried then i cried.

I went to vist her and i tell you shes the most increddible girl i no no tears.

These are my experiences its a devastateting thing to go through and hopefully with our help this can be prevented. So please help doent matter how much or little. Donate

 

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