Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

For the past 2.5 years I have had to spend my life completely alone without the family I gave birth to and raised. 

Domestic Abuse and bad social work practise, was the trigger to a decline in my mental health, and losing my children because of it, tipped me so far over the edge, I’ve never recovered from it. 

I have almost lost my life by suicide on more than one occasion because trying to see the ‘light’ has been near on impossible due to unforgiving services involved and a heartless court process.. 

It’s still not over…I’m still in the midst of a horrific battle that leaves me going to bed every night , heartbroken and waking up every single morning, heartbroken. Because of losing my children. Which should never have happened. 

 I planned to do this event by entering last year, I’ve almost not being able to do it, or any event, after taking a massive overdose which stopped me running or being active with the physical after affects. 

A month after that, I was literally hanging off a bridge, only stopped from falling by several South Yorkshire Police Officers. 

These officers have never stopped treating me with anything other than respect and empathy. Despite the amount of times they’ve found me or being called out to me. 

I am just one of many many people, who’s lives they’ve saved every single day. 

However, these officers turn up to work to deal with people like me, to deal with wrong uns, to deal with abuse they receive, and to manage traumatic situations despite the fact that they too might be struggling. They too; might be having their own dark moments and mental health battles. 

More money needs raising to help raise awareness of mental health in the police force, and to give them support and signposting when their own mental health is in danger of stopping them doing their jobs. 

We need the police force. For the most part, the only people that don’t; are those who are committing crimes; but even then; they would still be the first people they’d call when they themselves needed help. And despite any histories, the police would put everything to one side and continue to serve and protect regardless of a persons previous and despite what they too might have going off in their lives… 

Raising money is one way we can keep officers on the street as healthy mentally as we can,  because we don’t have enough of them as it is. 

I don’t know how my situation will end…..I still don’t know if I have the strength to carry on living and fighting, or if this battle and the darkness of depression will eventually take me…. but regardless of that, I want to leave a positive legacy behind, every time I’ve been saved, it has given me moments longer with the limited contact time I have with my children. I will never stop being grateful for that. 

I want this challenge to focus me, to give me a purpose and to raise money to stop anyone else feeling the pain of mental health breakdowns. 

A little kindness can go a very very long way and none of us know when we too, may need the police to help us. Xx

Nicole x